Sunday 9 August 2020

Life thus far: An overview

I did have a particular theme I wanted to discuss for this latest post, which I still intend to do, however, me being me, my mind raced on to manyyy other subjects, so I figured I may as well do a ramble. Damn you, brain!     Disclosure: Involves discussion of MH issues. 

So here we are, August. Really?! Mind is blown. This year is just a global disaster huh. However, we have got to make the most of it all, right. These last couple of months have been thought-provoking for me. I had an attack a month or so ago. Lasted 20 minutes & it was the first I'd had in a long time. It was a Sunday evening (great timing- work next day) and I could sense it brewing. I had panic and nausea all day; I went to my room. I had a surge on intense dread, thoughts racing, uncontrollable crying, couldn't catch my breath, trembling. To re-centre, I focused on reality& mindful awareness; pinpointing objects around me, focused on breath as much as possible. It was just horrible.
      Anyway, I wouldn't wish this feeling on anyone. I knew that I felt like life was overwhelming me, thoughts imploding. So it had to stop right there! I do myself no favours keeping 'a face on.'- maintaining my usual, friendly, cheerful self. My poor, dear mum is basically my therapist (no joke) and that's totally unfair. I do have good knowledge of myself, my management techniques, but I shouldn't always keep my issues SO separate from social life, for ex. I urge people who have such problems to discuss more with friends. I enjoy being there for others, offering advice, agony aunt...but it'll get on top of you ^as above. Seek help, always.

We all have different ways of reacting or responding to events don't we. A pandemic has taught many people this, if nothing else! Mask wearing in some indoor settings became compulsory 24th July. Pubs/restaurants/hairdressers etc from 4th July. It really has been a godsend to me to enjoy that sense of normality in a pub. Blogging is definitely a cathartic process. It's important to discuss current events and document your own observations. With local lockdowns recently appearing, one may say there's still trouble ahead. I completely understand that this wholly scares people. We've been dealing with storms that we've never experienced before. The negativity of the news and media is 24/7, pretty much. This not only preys on emotions but will keep many people glued to the TV. Please, go about life normally and safely but remember that life is an investment in yourself. We have to keep evolving. Be authentic and seek your purpose. Listen to news briefly but invest some time in critical info, if you need to be up to date.


















I've been re-watching films occasionally that have touched me in some form:
The way we were
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless mind
Benjamin Button
The Vow
Brain on Fire
A beautiful mind...Many more to follow I'm sure. These films inspire me. They're powerful in terms of hope, love of life, passion, mental health, loss of love, destiny. I could go on! My point is, we spend a lot of time looking in to the future that we forget the present. Some of us excessively worry. *hands up hsp* We need to truly and mindfully relax. Take that time to watch films when you can, something to really make you think, or cry, or laugh.
      I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder/intermittent depression in 2015 by my neuropsychologist. As my personal journey is unique, abi is also a factor. So, in theory, I have been on medication to help with my migraines and MH struggles since '13. The tension of wanting to solve the cause of your anxiety will result in wasting time running around in an inner maze of self-perpetuating worry. By using techniques I've listed above, or within my blog, it all helps to ease tension. Should it arise though, try this: anxiety feels like a voice, 'time to worry about everything.' Cue the sense of dread& cue a relaxation exercise. Choose something calming (stress ball, visualisation, colour therapy etc), practice often and use the words 'Don't listen or Stop it.' Say it loud.
      Obviously, cognitive distortion is not a helpful mindset & may be something that some of you are experiencing. Here's a great link:  https://inside.ewu.edu/caps/self-help/stress-management/distorted-thinking/
I truly believe there's a moral to everything, like films, there's a moral somewhere. A lesson for you to learn. It might be good or bad but we have to go through that to reach what we truly deserve and have wished for.

As we navigate through life, know that nothing lasts forever. There are silver linings at the edge of the orange-tinged horizon.

I'm not sure what this post turned into quite frankly! Info/tips spam, haha. I hope it's helpful x