2020 certainly is the year of an (ongoing) global pandemic of not only COVID, but also of worldwide protests against racism and police violence. Now, I want to make it clear that indeed, I feel empathy towards those who've suffered a loss of friends or relatives due to the virus, and also understand the huge plight of the world taking a stand against structural racism. However, we all have thoughts, feelings and opinions that differ to other people and all emotions are valid. I want to discuss how I've been dealing with my own resilience recently, and offer some skills/tips, because I don't know about you, but I've found life tricky- Particularly in the last month. On the whole, my resilience is very good. I've been through such struggles, that I can tolerate a lot. For ex. Having spent a month in a hospital, you feel institutionalised. Adjusting to "normality" can be tough, but I've begun to have that sensation again; feeling caged in...
Do you remember the #bekind campaign that was floating around before the virus came alone? Yeah, me neither! I've observed so much over these months that make me think how fickle humans are. The hatred that comes spewing out of people's mouths. It's mind boggling. People say everything is for "justice reasons," but honestly, it's looks like anger and fear to me. What message does this send ? I witness judgement of others, probably of myself also; who knows. What are people lacking in their lives when they have supported in developing division during this lockdown.
Non mask wearers vs those that do; people who 'Tut' at you if you accidentally don't follow the marked arrows in supermarkets; or the multiple people who glared at me and snarkily looked at my 87 year old grandmother whom I took out for the first time in three months of her shielding indoors. [It has been difficult for my grandmother to compute all of the mass media, and she doesn't wholly understand the need for the imposed regulations etc- So imagine how bewildering places are now for her] What a dire manner to act around an elderly lady. I honestly don't know how people have the emotional energy to hold on to such strong opinions that they then deem as factual; a lot of the time, it's unsubstantiated. What's happened to alternative thinking. The human race has become too carefree and irresponsible with their actions & thoughts.
The pandemic has clearly offered an opportunity for us to use this reset to be more conscious and to think about how we can improve, as individuals and collective. For ex, I do think a huge positive has been that the lockdown has provided a lifeline for rough sleepers. Thousands have been given shelter, security & help- fantastic. Although, what happens next & also, why did it take a pandemic to sort this out? Social issues like this really highlight how the Tory Gov. have had important issues directed in their faces! We’re living in extraordinary times.
Stay with me...The above has developed in to somewhat of a prologue.
The last three months has triggered increased anxiety for many. The virus outbreak has had such heightened media attention, which has sparked feelings that some people are not accustomed to. I have found that this last month has been my hardest. I was feeling self-doubt and lacking in self love. Feeling an amount of distress that was affecting my emotional wellbeing. Now, I know that adapting to life's changes hasn't been difficult at all for some, which is totally fine but I can't say I've enjoyed the "new norm." I've been in regular contact with friends (online), working & more recently, had a walk with friends (separate occasions) and visited family. It had been three months that I'd not seen my nephews- This is tough for us all, yes. However, it got me to thinking why do I feel low, so non-resilient.
I've been missing things. The things that give me pleasure. If I didn't think I was a person who needs human interaction or a social butterfly, I know now! People watching hasn't felt the same either haha. Work has helped; seeing colleagues. Generally it's "normal", but the added stress of staff shortage never helps haha. The buzz of a chaotic city is a distant memory.
I‘ve always had an ability to be happy and productive alone & I've evolved enough to be content in losing myself in tasks but I genuinely miss it all: restaurants, theatre, country houses, cinema, camping, shopping, pubs, dating. At least we've been able to walk around country parks, but dating, boy oh boy...that's a biggie for me. I miss men. Period.
This may come across as 'moan & groan,' apologies, but it leads me nicely to resilience. If we define resilience as the process of adapting well in the face of adversity/trauma, it is fair to say my positive adaptation and ability to maintain MH has fallen in recent times. Resilience involves, bouncing back, remaining flexible, keeping going & staying well. I may or may not be alone with the feeling of lacking in this strength right now, but if I’m not, you can at least now have knowledge that you are not alone!
So, I looked back on my peer work training, and had a good read through my ‘first aid kit’ and resilience tools. It’s been extremely helpful at regaining insight in to my own behaviours. Those of us who suffer from MH issues will understand what’s knocks us off balance. My ‘off day signs’ had become to blur into the week, so I knew I had to pick myself up again.
My toolkit includes a combination of aspects: -
physical: sleep, exercise, breathing exercises, good diet, medication
mental: recognise triggers, seek help or access online groups, impulse control, reflection, acceptance
spiritual: lighting incense/candles, meditation, being around nature, positive quotes
emotional: be around animals, social support, clean and declutter, laughter, podcasts
This first aid kit is not exhaustive. It could include other simple acts such as, watch a new drama series, practice gratitude, cook and so forth..
I think it is fair to say that everyone is struggling in some capacity, and we need to consistently prepare ourselves. Stress can make it difficult to make even the smallest decisions about life. In order to approach new tasks and situations optimistically, developing a wellness plan helps us to develop resilience and helps you intervene quickly when you spot early warning signs. Mindfulness aids us to enjoy the present moment, task or event at a time, taking that pressure away
I really hope someone can take something from my scribing and it’s urged them to look at their own resilience. Remember what resilience also is not- We all have vulnerabilities and weakness at times. This is not failure. We can get back on that horse and ride again, once more and feel excited for life being "normal" again..
