Happy Easter! it's been a while; I haven't had much to report. I mean who has had, when STILL living in a pandemic existence! I have had a week off work but it's gone by soo quickly and I've been most unproductive. In fairness to me, there's not exactly anything eventful to do; it's like a never-ending loop of madness, ha. The restrictions in "Stalin Britain," as I so fondly like to term it now, slightly lifted on Monday...not that it makes a blind bit of difference, in terms of my thought processes over the whole situation.
Anyway, we had a *few* sunny days so I caught up on reading, went for a walk in the woods, booked well-needed appointments, spent time with some family and started some academic work (this took a while to muster motivation to be fair) Oh, I made an Easter cake too- Obvs.
In all honesty, I felt drained af. My head has felt flooded, and I feel guilty for doing "not a lot." This angered me, losing my temper with others angry, hmph. I feel a tad unbalanced; my equilibrium is askew. I have so many things to do that I don't think my mind has known where to turn. Perhaps it has felt too busy that my body has kind've shut down, so I've certainly caught up on sleep!
Hmm, maybe sometimes we need a week like that. Ideally, I'd be on a beach relaxing, but these days, that's illegal- unless you wear a face mask. Go figure. I've felt sensitive to life in general, hence the busy mind likely. I fear we're heading in such a divisive and discriminatory direction, it's not pretty. (Anyone agree? Ah, I digress....)
I know that I'm going to give myself flack for not doing enough academic work, but hopefully I'll get there in the end. We always tend do, don't we? You think you'll never get to that finish line, but somehow, the Universe takes you there. I'm banking on it anyway. We are too hard on ourselves, when in reality, our body usually lets us know what it is we need in that moment. I have found this working from home ALLL the time tricky. Starting a new role, new work's operating system, new field of work in Nov and then jumping to solely helping myself from Jan has been no picnic. I went in the once but there was no-one else there soo, waste of petrol much!? Quitting on myself hasn't been an option, but having no office space at home, and never alone in the house has been frustrating as hell.
What is lovely though, is that Spring/Ostara is here, hurrah! It's a great season; Aries season has arrived and growth and abundance is upon us...I'm clinging to this hugely. Aries is fiery energy and urges us to transform, be grateful for the blessings we have & be clear about what we wish to attract. Manifestation and setting intentions is ideal in Aries season and maybe down time enabled me to reevaluate my busy mind- Is it possible I've been more productive than I thought ??
A week ago, I drew the Hermit card which was an invitation to retreat and travel deep into the recesses of spirit and soul. I guess I need to trust the process & realise I needed quiet time. I suppose there is value in spending time in silence, in nature and in not engaging in constant external stimulation. Being mindful; yeah, maybe I needed that. Cognitive fatigue can creep up and at times, it's better to give in to the inner voice that says "Do it all right now" Sometimes we need courage to take a break.
I overthink on a daily basis. I reign it in when I put my mind to something as soon as I'm awake- and then somehow, I get through the day with less worry.
If this week has taught me anything, bad days or weeks will happen; some days will be great and some may be wretched. However, please know that if you can get out of bed daily, you're doing well!
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| 2 eggs for 2 special guys! |
