Lets talk resilience

It's been a good two months since my last post..It's been a tumultuous 2 months. Definitely a significant year in our contemporary history!

2020 certainly is the year of an (ongoing) global pandemic of not only COVID, but also of worldwide protests against racism and police violence. Now, I want to make it clear that indeed, I feel empathy towards those who've suffered a loss of friends or relatives due to the virus, and also understand the huge plight of the world taking a stand against structural racism. However, we all have thoughts, feelings and opinions that differ to other people and all emotions are valid. I want to discuss how I've been dealing with my own resilience recently, and offer some skills/tips, because I don't know about you, but I've found life tricky- Particularly in the last month. On the whole, my resilience is very good. I've been through such struggles, that I can tolerate a lot. For ex. Having spent a month in a hospital, you feel institutionalised. Adjusting to "normality" can be tough, but I've begun to have that sensation again; feeling caged in...
       Do you remember the #bekind campaign that was floating around before the virus came alone? Yeah, me neither! I've observed so much over these months that make me think how fickle humans are. The hatred that comes spewing out of people's mouths. It's mind boggling. People say everything is for "justice reasons," but honestly, it's looks like anger and fear to me. What message does this send ? I witness judgement of others, probably of myself also; who knows. What are people lacking in their lives when they have supported in developing division during this lockdown.
       Non mask wearers vs those that do; people who 'Tut' at you if you accidentally don't follow the marked arrows in supermarkets; or the multiple people who glared at me and snarkily looked at my 87 year old grandmother whom I took out for the first time in three months of her shielding indoors. [It has been difficult for my grandmother to compute all of the mass media, and she doesn't wholly understand the need for the imposed regulations etc- So imagine how bewildering places are now for her] What a dire manner to act around an elderly lady. I honestly don't know how people have the emotional energy to hold on to such strong opinions that they then deem as factual; a lot of the time, it's unsubstantiated. What's happened to alternative thinking. The human race has become too carefree and irresponsible with their actions & thoughts.

The pandemic has clearly offered an opportunity for us to use this reset to be more conscious and to think about how we can improve, as individuals and collective. For ex, I do think a huge positive has been that the lockdown has provided a lifeline for rough sleepers. Thousands have been given shelter, security & help- fantastic. Although, what happens next & also, why did it take a pandemic to sort this out? Social issues like this really highlight how the Tory Gov. have had important issues directed in their faces! We’re living in extraordinary times.

Stay with me...The above has developed in to somewhat of a prologue.

The last three months has triggered increased anxiety for many. The virus outbreak has had such heightened media attention, which has sparked feelings that some people are not accustomed to. I have found that this last month has been my hardest. I was feeling self-doubt and lacking in self love. Feeling an amount of distress that was affecting my emotional wellbeing. Now, I know that adapting to life's changes hasn't been difficult at all for some, which is totally fine but I can't say I've enjoyed the "new norm." I've been in regular contact with friends (online), working & more recently, had a walk with friends (separate occasions) and visited family. It had been three months that I'd not seen my nephews- This is tough for us all, yes. However, it got me to thinking why do I feel low, so non-resilient.
       I've been missing things. The things that give me pleasure. If I didn't think I was a person who needs human interaction or a social butterfly, I know now! People watching hasn't felt the same either haha. Work has helped; seeing colleagues. Generally it's "normal", but the added stress of staff shortage never helps haha. The buzz of a chaotic city is a distant memory.

I‘ve always had an ability to be happy and productive alone & I've evolved enough to be content in losing myself in tasks but I genuinely miss it all: restaurants, theatre, country houses, cinema, camping, shopping, pubs, dating. At least we've been able to walk around country parks, but dating, boy oh boy...that's a biggie for me. I miss men. Period.

       This may come across as 'moan & groan,' apologies, but it leads me nicely to resilience. If we define resilience as the process of adapting well in the face of adversity/trauma, it is fair to say my positive adaptation and ability to maintain MH has fallen in recent times. Resilience involves, bouncing back, remaining flexible, keeping going & staying well. 
       I may or may not be alone with the feeling of lacking in this strength right now, but if I’m not, you can at least now have knowledge that you are not alone! 

So, I looked back on my peer work training, and had a good read through my ‘first aid kit’ and resilience tools. It’s been extremely helpful at regaining insight in to my own behaviours. Those of us who suffer from MH issues will understand what’s knocks us off balance. My ‘off day signs’ had become to blur into the week, so I knew I had to pick myself up again.

My toolkit includes a combination of aspects: -
physical: sleep, exercise, breathing exercises, good diet, medication
mental: recognise triggers, seek help or access online groups, impulse control, reflection, acceptance
spiritual: lighting incense/candles, meditation, being around nature, positive quotes
emotional: be around animals, social support, clean and declutter, laughter, podcasts

This first aid kit is not exhaustive. It could include other simple acts such as, watch a new drama series, practice gratitude, cook and so forth..

I think it is fair to say that everyone is struggling in some capacity, and we need to consistently prepare ourselves. Stress can make it difficult to make even the smallest decisions about life. In order to approach new tasks and situations optimistically, developing a wellness plan helps us to develop resilience and helps you intervene quickly when you spot early warning signs. Mindfulness aids us to enjoy the present moment, task or event at a time, taking that pressure away

I really hope someone can take something from my scribing and it’s urged them to look at their own resilience. Remember what resilience also is not- We all have vulnerabilities and weakness at times. This is not failure. We can get back on that horse and ride again, once more and feel excited for life being "normal" again..

   

Pandemic Opportunities

Hey, hi, hello
Salut, ciao, shalom

My goodness. What a time it is on Earth right now, huh. So with life on a global lockdown, I thought I'd shed some light into how I'm handling things/interpreting life (or COVID-19 as we now recognise our life, as is)

The UK has entered its fourth week of lockdown & it is feeling bloody tough, and this is coming from someone who is comfortable with and enjoys their own company! I am "semi-isolating," meaning I'm working most of the week. My ward has four positive cases, so went into isolation, which meant PPE, indeed. I work with the elderly community for some of my time, so I'm aware of their vulnerability & risk. The coinciding Easter/annual leave has meant I've had nearly a week at home..and I have to admit, it has sent me almost insane. It's so very easy to get lost in worry and stress in these times of uncertainly, and that's what's been getting me into a panic- mostly about the future (not a rarity for me but I'm hyper attuned to it) and not just my future, but as a collective. This pandemic is a tragedy, in terms of both the loss of lives and collateral damage.

Lets be honest here, the position we're in is potentially risky for mental health, depending on how you approach it. Somehow, we have to stay connected to the big picture, stay centred and grounded.
So how can we thrive during the ongoing time? How can we gain and learn something, rather than dwelling on the losses- I'll be honest, I'm beginning to struggle. This has all been necessary of course, but for many, it's a big adjustment & worry, in terms of the wider economic impact. I'm empathetic towards every person on the frontline, but I'm also feeling much compassion towards the substantial uncertainty about the impact on people’s lives and livelihoods (which covers a wide range of issues)

As it has just been Easter, we have had to celebrate indoors. We've had glorious sunshine, which I took advantage of, but on the Sunday, I believe, I felt somewhat deflated. No energy to do a fat lot. Made use of the garden, but tv too*
    I did talk to friends in the evening, but productivity levels were loooww. So going back to above paragraph, I know that my anxiety is triggered big time. We have to give ourselves a lot of love. I've found going to the supermarket difficult if I'm honest; I understand the protocol, the reasoning, physical distancing my words, but I am impatient. If you know me, you know. So yeah, I've had to learn to slow things down.
What is the new paradigm here? Will we have a revived appreciation of the outdoors and life's simple pleasures? Will we realise the benefits to human connection and camaraderie...I hope so. April is calling for us to look within; shake up your routine and look at new ways of thinking. Consider what your personal roadmap looks like & what needs to change or stay exactly as is- relationship, career, dynamics etc. Are there people in your life that you could do without, platforms that no longer serve you. Perhaps there is a missed opportunity you could seek back ? Now is the time to think about what is the world ready for, what do we wish to change..collectively and individually.

Having this "time off" is definitely not a vacation. No-one takes a holiday quarantined in their house, right!? People of the more introverted personality still value time outdoors, hugely, to protect their MH. So, set an intent, a goal, objective and use time & structure to think about progress and get that to-do list done! We need to look forward as human beings. When we stay stuck in the mud, that's where depression seeps in.

Having our freedom, liberties, the outdoors and general activities taken away certainly opens your eyes to the precious time we do have. Take away the distractions..technology/social media. This time we have demands structure [I AM AIMING THIS AT MYSELF TOO] Consider a dopamine detox for a few days a week. Abstain from those enjoyable, yet addictive habits. For many of us these days, that'll be social media, tv, alcohol, overeating. Let your brain rewire and take time to concentrate on responsibilities, reading, studying, exercise. You'll find that you'll be far more motivated when you teach yourself that before you get that hit of dopamine, you need to work for it first. Associate the work with the reward and you'll be more likely to repeat the work so you know you can get the dopamine rush!

If we actively engage with reality with discipline, we can commit to pushing outside of our comfort zones occasionally. For example, complete tasks you've been putting off doing around the house or level up on personal development. It can be tricky to stick to a routine currently, so free online courses maintain a good structure at weekends perhaps, particularly if you're interested in gaining a new job or new skills to apply in your field

Finally, lets face it, we can't be "in the zone" 24/7, and our wellbeing isn't a marathon. It shifts and improves all the time. Now more than ever, we need to feel calm, so think of the little things...For me, de-cluttering/spring cleaning, meditation/soothing ASMR, light lavender incense, have an "in house salon" [bath, nails, shave, blowdry hair]

Woah, I apologise if this got a bit heavy. I just want my readers to have the knowledge that there is definitely more than Netflix to do during this really confusing, sad, odd time. Not that I'm saying it's bad; we all binge watch as it's often needed, but it will drain you like an energy vampire- we don't need added toxicity! *as noted
This said, I don't have Netflix so I don't get to see Tiger King. Spare a thought for me, ha. Re-runs of True Blood is my chosen vice ;-)

I hope Easter has been a joyous one, even with the difficulties we are all faced with. Remember, when we get back to some normality, we must seek to continue some kind've path to enlightenment to connection and becoming present. Really present.