A Springtime update

Hey All- It appears that I've neglected my little space in the blogosphere, yet again :( That's on me. Life has been very busy and I've been meaning to reconnect but it's finding time and momentum. Within the chaos, there's likely been some writer's block.

28/04: I began writing this on a day where I'd banked overtime hours at work and taking the day off.. Finally! I could discuss every event of the past eight months, but I can shelve that for now. I'm going to keep this post short and sweet; she says. I want it to give me some impetuous to get writing some more beefy contents (again, she says..Life forever gets in my way!) I need to remedy the writers block by writing a little journal update for now :-)

I attended a wedding during the Easter weekend; my partner's sister. The weather was brilliant, the sun was shining (which made a change from the wind & rain we'd had) The day went really well. Nick (boyf) and I had a week off work last week and sadly, the sun shone twice. Wonderful. Those signs of spring really do make me feel so happy. The older I've gotten, I do feel like I suffer from S.A.D.. Anyone else? Everything improves for me when sunshine is around; my health certainly improves; Vit D helps my skin, my mental health, energy levels, optimism, lowers irritability. The UK doesn't see enough sunshine in my opinion (I'm sure some would disagree..) Beltane and May Day is approaching and going by past posts, it's a time of year I love Retrograde release & Spring is springing! May is on its way and the Taurus energy always brings good things I feel, weather warms up, flowers bloom, the desire to connect with nature beckons! 

      With the year just flying by, the beginning of spring is a nice way to wind down & think about what's important to you and what matters. Of course, going to a wedding is a nice event but it can make you consider your own internal goal posts. I'm 35. We all have hopes & dreams through life. That said, things change. Over the last few years, I've done lots of soul searching and opened my eyes to lots of things. Marriage is a lovely thing sure, but now I'm older, it doesn't take away from a partnership and love, without the ring and paper. 09/05: We bumped into some folks that Nick knew at the weekend who asked if we were engaged (HAHA! Boyf must've panicked) Why do people feel they should ask that? I don't mind though, people are curious beings. Of course it's been spoken of. But it's not high on the agenda. Other things are. Things that are just as stressful & emotionally/ mentally draining- I hope to discuss this one day in much more depth, but for now, it's a personal experience.

Luckily, I have a partner that is on the same page as me (He says so anyhow...!) We have some more renovation work in the home; We sorted a new driveway out in February- Can't believe it was that long ago. There's lots more we need to work on, but it's expense and time. We'll get there I'm sure, if we stay focused.

I had a nightmare few months with my car, since December of last year. At the fault of others obviously. It was absolute chaos and made Christmas a difficult time for me, emotionally to be honest. Not to mention, financially. Nick surprised me with a trip to Disneyland Paris for November- I'm so thankful for that. That'll be our holiday I think. A few days away. I'm very excited. I feel it's really important to have things to look forward to in life, no matter how small. Look up happiful.com for interesting tips and articles for a happy life.

09/05: It is now post-Coronation too. Less I say about that the better. I cannot believe people would cheer such grotesque wealth when we have the cost of living crisis. It honestly baffles me. I may likely discuss this in more detail due to the social injustice and inequality of it all. 

      On that note, I'll say adieu but if there's any topics you'd like me to talk about, by all means, get in touch with me :-)

Life thus far: An Overview

I HAVE SLACKED!.. on my blog. Sincere apologies. I did not realise how long it has been since my last post; that is really bad. What I find astonishing is that I remember writing the last post quite vividly, so time really is somewhat of an illusion. I know we universally say, time has flown this year, but this one certain is!! As midsummer was a couple of months ago, Autumn is not far away- We've had some heatwaves in the UK & it's quite the stir across Britain (of course) The humidity is something else though for sure. Still, it’ll be nice to have some more light evenings until the Autumn equinox comes soon. 

       I'll explain the reasons for my lack time which led to lack of writing: -

Main positive; A new relationship :-) I have been happily carving a loving partnership since January of this year. After the weirdest 2.5 years, actually coming across someone who I can see in my long-term future is a bit of a weight off my shoulders if I’m perfectly honest. I've tried to live very much in the moment with him, we went away at Easter in April. I think I had more or less given up on finding the right guy for me, but maybe there is such a thing as divine timing/ fate. I don't know. But he ticks the boxes- and there's a few to tick! My younger brother had said he thought I have high expectations, I don't feel I do. I've just gone through enough rubbish with men that I know what, who I'm looking for & what I want from life. I don't want to discuss lots of details about the b/f but for all the reasons above, it was a slow burn for me (and I already expressed this to him, too brutally honest yep) and that is not to sound horrible, I think I just had to be sure. It took a min or two for me to figure him out I think but my feelings came through pretty fast once I gave the prospect, faith LOL. In fact, I had got him wrong from the 1st date in reality. He was respectful, kind & attentive and I probably was just used to it. Ladies, think Aidan from Sex and the City, the episode where they're dating and she's upset because he wouldn't spend the night; he explains he wants to romance her. I mean, I still wonder why we never went for an evening meal in the beginning but that's a drawback I can live with, if the man I am with reminds me of Aidan! Warm, masculine, funny, won't lie or hide emotions and openly wants to settle down and start a family <3 

 

Another positive to note would be my successful promotion at work & the end of my study work. That said, it has only meant I have my main work to contend with, leaving me with a fair bit of catch-up! :/ Plus, my manager would like me to do further study for the next Level, not to mention my CPD for my Social Work registration... Did I just manage to turn a positive into a negative? Haha. Ok, well, my dad had his belated 70th birthday gift on Sunday, a flying lesson- So fun, and I'm off to Greece in September.  

Main negative; The world's narrative! Honestly, I would love to be optimistic with how life goes on around us, but I can only be realistic and things just seem worse than 2020 when we had covid kicking off (by the way, is that still a thing, I saw something about vaccines again?) The divide of society still feels too big. We are post-Covid era and society is nowhere near perfect. War, increase of cost of living (or "imposed poverty" for many as should be the correct term) food shortages, taxes, fuel, bill prices, strikes. Our broken economy of those years has obvs had massive repercussions & it has a ripple effect. It’s pretty tough for us all right now. Mass hysteria seems to lurk around the corner too. 

       The big one seems to be gender ideology. We seem to be over sexualising and informing opinions on assigning gender onto our children. It's pretty bad in the US with drag queens entering the curriculum, and 3 year olds being asked by a doctor (as their first question may I add) "Are you identifying as a boy or girl." The fear is it seeping into the UK & I'm not sure if it's my maternal instinct that kicks in or that I have twin nephews but I would be displeased if my 4 year old child was taught at school "how to be sexual, safely." I've no issue with people being conflicted by their gender and making informed actions to challenge roles but young children, I think the topic is complex so parents/ teachers should not push their thoughts on a child. If it becomes something the child talks about often, that's different & requires conversation & listening. If a boy plays with a doll for a week it doesn't necessarily mean he wants to be a girl. Gender can also be fluid & be expressed differently. Please can we let kids be kids. 

       I sort've feel like we have to accommodate every person's whim, or change even factual, historical information to suit a person's needs or identity. Also, why do we still promote things that are unhealthy or false, eager to please much. Am I just being close-minded ?!

Another negative might be that (this isn't really a negative at all, you'll see) I had saved up £ to purchase a house of my own, thinking I was going to be a single, independent woman for longer than I now am. Thinking that maybe I'd have to have and raise a child on my own some how. However, b/f has his own house and in the town I wished to find a home. Me being me though, I saw an issue. Buying my own house suddenly felt obsolete. I'd hoped that once I met someone, I'd have my own mortgage. The upside is I can invest and help him or put some of my £ into another place I can rent out. See, positive really! 

       Valid negative, I've trapped my finger and thumb in a car door this year, separate occasions. Bloody ouch and sad! I have natural, long nails so they're a bugger to not let the original nail fall off whilst the new one grows- Be less Lucy ha. 

Let me know how your year has been so far, good, bad or in-between!

Life thus far: An overview

Soo I kind've feel like this will be a bit of a rant, so I figured I haven't got a theme, hence my LTS! I woke up Sunday with a low energy vibration to be honest which has continued, then I realised it's a new moon in taurus on the 11th. My little spiritual heart felt slightly more settled I guess! Taurus is about healing through a grounding process, so we're thinking earthy nature ofc. It allows us to re-fuel & fill your cup with self love. Definitely not a time to beat yourself up that’s for sure! I need to take heed of that fixed Earth, grounded energy to steer me in a good direction; especially during this Mental Health Week

      My younger brother turned 30 on Saturday; he's a Taurus. He's more pragmatic than me certainly and I can learn a lot from that nature. We had a little family get-together at his house which was needed. I baked Nutella cupcakes which I'll deffo be making again. My brother likes his board games and trivia, but Cards Against Humanity, I'm all for that one. These simple pleasures of normality shouldn't be taken for granted!

My weeks have been so busy at work and even though it's still working from home, I've had the odd visit and meeting in direct contact. That's felt normal-ish...I feel overwhelmed though. Work + academic work + a never empty house + an ailing grandmother- Makes me feel like I have limited time. I need to manage time better currently & curb that imposter feeling :/ 

I've spoken about karma before on here and even though I know that nothing is black and white, nor easy, I still wonder how those that really do seek true happiness, are not given it quickly or simply. Life doesn't reward goodness but honestly, I try, my family try, so hard but something always crops up to steer us off track! Are things sent to test us, if so, why continuously ha. I have fought a lot in my life, jumped through hoops and obstacles & although I'm young (33) I feel tired, tired of doing all the right things but not having what I truly want. I've settled for less recently- I don't want to do that anymore. I know deep down that I am worthy of what I wish to manifest, so why settle, 

I know that I do need to use the taurean energy to let go and let God. We can’t control everything can we…Have faith, keep going and let the chips fall where they may..

I'm sure many people look at life (now that we have some freedoms back) and feel that life is hunky dory, no issues. But there's an underbelly. When you go down that rabbit hole, I'm telling you, if you already feel a niggle, you'll get it trust me! (Not that I believe every theory) When the country makes out it is so progressive & liberal, that is when I want to scream. We’re not. It’s going backwards in my opinion and people are blinkered to see it. Can you honestly say that you feel you are empowered to have a different point of view to someone else; whether a person is right or wrong need not matter, we are supposed to live in a society where different perspectives are encouraged, are we not? 

It's even ridiculous things like, an ex once suggested I was 'the sensible one; straightlaced...' Considering he knew full well what my temperament is, it angered me so much. Still does. Cause when you know something is unjust, you want to set records straight. I'm realistic, logical, reasonable. 

Sensible and straightlaced? Sure, I don't act like a ten year old the majority of the time- I guess I need to let some things lie eh!! 

I guess it's those realisations that make me think, wow that person couldn't be arsed to really get to know me at all! I like social justice, liberty and the human right to an opinion. When they listened to my thoughts on the Pandemic sitch, they were surprised, so it makes you wonder what people class as radical after all doesn't it ?

      This ever happen to you?

This has been a rant eh. Ooh I'm sorry. I love a rant and moan at the best of times, but this past year, oh boy its been something else!! I mean, I wholly hope that restrictions are lifted in June, as suggested, but I have my niggling suspicions that life will not look quite the same as 2019 for example. Is this making any sense? Hm, I hope so. Anyway, if anyone at all is feeling even a smidgen bit sceptical or has some thoughts that don't quite fit in with "the norm," look up the WTAF Podcast with Richard Willett & Gareth Icke, and Pandemic Podcast with Dan Astin-Gregory- both on Youtube. You'll feel less alone as they speak sense, and look up your local Stand in the Park...although, lets hope that by June, this will all be a distant dream !

All that glitters is not gold?

Dear August, You used to be so hot when I was a youngster. Now, you're a burnt out soul…

It's raining here in England. It's dull and I feel miserable and procrastination has set in. I feel unproductive. Sometimes, you need to surrender to your physical feelings and slow the hell down. 

I can feel this cosmic tug that's trying to drag me under, and that, I won't allow. I've learned now that my body will let me know when I need to "just be" but I also have some quite life-altering things coming up very soon so my Positive, proactive, speedy hat needs to be firmly on. 
          This sounds so negative I know but it's simply honesty. I don't enjoy fakeness. What I'm saying is, say yes and give way to the energy you're feeling. That fire in your little belly yearns for some reflection. Recharge those batteries in a day & see what's on your mind: - 

- Is it a vacation you need ?
- A new career plan ?
- A pet ?
- A tech detox ?
- An afternoon of spontaneous adventure ?
- A date ?
- A new outfit ?

These quick fire thoughts are the things you truly crave and will bring new joy or possibility to your life. A lot of the time, they are the simple things...like indulging in a hot, bubble bath with a glass of wine; sweet, relaxing sounds and scents surrounding you.
     Think of it like story writing, write down little gems of wisdom. This is your bit of glitter, be it however small. Life is about seeing beauty in the little things around us and sometimes, overwhelming, differing thoughts can leave you reviewing your whole life, but take a day to forget about the practicalities of how to figure out those loud thoughts- focus on something small…All that glitters is not gold.

A lot of problems occur these days due to comparison, and because I've had a few days of feeling like I'm stagnant {check out my Insta for more chat on this!} or my life's just trucking along, it got me to thinking how quickly you can lose your logical sense. Perfection really does not exist, everything is trial & error. Society has become obsessed with attaining the impossible ideal at all levels and the trouble is, some people get sucked into the realm but in fact, the glitzy, perfect perceptions people have are often not that precious at all or indicative of ones' true nature! Authenticity looks like it's gone out of the window with carefully orchestrated individual's walking around instead, thus leaving the minority of real people who recognise that 'All that glitters is not gold', feeling their own anxieties even more intensely which is ridiculous because knowing ones' flaws & strengths is the key to higher potential! A great phrase I heard is "So many selflies, so little knowledge of self."
     So please know, the muddy water will disperse when you just sit still for a while and be true to yourself. Recognise all the sentimental feels but know that the logic will return in due course!

Key pointers
Know thyself. Decipher what's held you back from your opportunities.. Mindful introspection on the past & present you can help your gain clarity on your divine life purpose
Stay humble and know that success happens in its own time.. Don't distract yourself with conventional thinking; ground yourself back with the spiritual realm, breathe out the perfectionist ideals and be true to you!
Don't put value on things that is not true beauty; those that put too much emphasis on narcissism or materialism reflects fool's gold-- It's not real!!!

Here's to a productive, feisty month, hopefully full of our own bit of sparkle, happiness and fulfilment! 

Stereotypes and Prejudices

There have been some times throughout my social work degree where I think, "Wow, I have learnt something".. which pleases me, since I do not wish to think I have wasted three years!! I mean, I have chosen to go into this profession. I hope to actually find a great job in said career and do well at it. Not desert the degree. 

A few days ago, some opinions were spouted by a couple of people during common discussion. I have to say that it really hit home about how much I have been learning and how I have grown professionally. I went on a 'Safeguarding Children' course yesterday that further cemented this for me. 


These particular people were discussing an 'oppressive and grim society' where young people start fights in towns in the afternoon and how classes have emerged in to one 'working-class' society. 
- if an adult with degree cannot get a job AT ALL how can a young person with no qualifications be expected to venture into employment. Especially with an economy that is as bleak as it is now in the UK? 


So here's the thing, I'm from a fairly middle-class background. I probably share societal views/norms that coincide but as I approach qualified social work status, I keep my personal opinions and professional values/judgements, separate.  However, I got to thinking about the social classes. Yes, there is perhaps no clear cut balance but middle-class snobbery is surely what breeds contempt? I cannot say I condone people who mindlessly take drugs, alcohol or begin fights in broad daylight! I mean, I was brought up in a town outside  of Birmingham where our house was regularly burgled into and drugs were found outside the back of house...Of course I didn't like that!!
      However, you cannot judge a person simply on looks, their aspirations or what they do with their days. Some people have experiences and issues that most fortunate people can't comprehend or visualise. Young people have been brought up in a society that is full of different cultures and values. They may be brought up in families that your own would 'look down upon'. Is it right to hold your head so high just because you have a better job, education, status or different taste in tv show?? Don't demonise or assert superiority over a young person who has not reaped the same benefits in life you may have.

You must be careful saying such strong opinions, people do fight back. Blame anyone, blame the Government. Everyone is different. For instance, I rarely eat McDonalds but that's simply because it's full of saturated fats..

This is just my two cents and I hope my honesty is appreciated!! Debates are welcome on this little blog :-)