Life thus far: An Overview

I HAVE SLACKED!.. on my blog. Sincere apologies. I did not realise how long it has been since my last post; that is really bad. What I find astonishing is that I remember writing the last post quite vividly, so time really is somewhat of an illusion. I know we universally say, time has flown this year, but this one certain is!! As midsummer was a couple of months ago, Autumn is not far away- We've had some heatwaves in the UK & it's quite the stir across Britain (of course) The humidity is something else though for sure. Still, it’ll be nice to have some more light evenings until the Autumn equinox comes soon. 

       I'll explain the reasons for my lack time which led to lack of writing: -

Main positive; A new relationship :-) I have been happily carving a loving partnership since January of this year. After the weirdest 2.5 years, actually coming across someone who I can see in my long-term future is a bit of a weight off my shoulders if I’m perfectly honest. I've tried to live very much in the moment with him, we went away at Easter in April. I think I had more or less given up on finding the right guy for me, but maybe there is such a thing as divine timing/ fate. I don't know. But he ticks the boxes- and there's a few to tick! My younger brother had said he thought I have high expectations, I don't feel I do. I've just gone through enough rubbish with men that I know what, who I'm looking for & what I want from life. I don't want to discuss lots of details about the b/f but for all the reasons above, it was a slow burn for me (and I already expressed this to him, too brutally honest yep) and that is not to sound horrible, I think I just had to be sure. It took a min or two for me to figure him out I think but my feelings came through pretty fast once I gave the prospect, faith LOL. In fact, I had got him wrong from the 1st date in reality. He was respectful, kind & attentive and I probably was just used to it. Ladies, think Aidan from Sex and the City, the episode where they're dating and she's upset because he wouldn't spend the night; he explains he wants to romance her. I mean, I still wonder why we never went for an evening meal in the beginning but that's a drawback I can live with, if the man I am with reminds me of Aidan! Warm, masculine, funny, won't lie or hide emotions and openly wants to settle down and start a family <3 

 

Another positive to note would be my successful promotion at work & the end of my study work. That said, it has only meant I have my main work to contend with, leaving me with a fair bit of catch-up! :/ Plus, my manager would like me to do further study for the next Level, not to mention my CPD for my Social Work registration... Did I just manage to turn a positive into a negative? Haha. Ok, well, my dad had his belated 70th birthday gift on Sunday, a flying lesson- So fun, and I'm off to Greece in September.  

Main negative; The world's narrative! Honestly, I would love to be optimistic with how life goes on around us, but I can only be realistic and things just seem worse than 2020 when we had covid kicking off (by the way, is that still a thing, I saw something about vaccines again?) The divide of society still feels too big. We are post-Covid era and society is nowhere near perfect. War, increase of cost of living (or "imposed poverty" for many as should be the correct term) food shortages, taxes, fuel, bill prices, strikes. Our broken economy of those years has obvs had massive repercussions & it has a ripple effect. It’s pretty tough for us all right now. Mass hysteria seems to lurk around the corner too. 

       The big one seems to be gender ideology. We seem to be over sexualising and informing opinions on assigning gender onto our children. It's pretty bad in the US with drag queens entering the curriculum, and 3 year olds being asked by a doctor (as their first question may I add) "Are you identifying as a boy or girl." The fear is it seeping into the UK & I'm not sure if it's my maternal instinct that kicks in or that I have twin nephews but I would be displeased if my 4 year old child was taught at school "how to be sexual, safely." I've no issue with people being conflicted by their gender and making informed actions to challenge roles but young children, I think the topic is complex so parents/ teachers should not push their thoughts on a child. If it becomes something the child talks about often, that's different & requires conversation & listening. If a boy plays with a doll for a week it doesn't necessarily mean he wants to be a girl. Gender can also be fluid & be expressed differently. Please can we let kids be kids. 

       I sort've feel like we have to accommodate every person's whim, or change even factual, historical information to suit a person's needs or identity. Also, why do we still promote things that are unhealthy or false, eager to please much. Am I just being close-minded ?!

Another negative might be that (this isn't really a negative at all, you'll see) I had saved up £ to purchase a house of my own, thinking I was going to be a single, independent woman for longer than I now am. Thinking that maybe I'd have to have and raise a child on my own some how. However, b/f has his own house and in the town I wished to find a home. Me being me though, I saw an issue. Buying my own house suddenly felt obsolete. I'd hoped that once I met someone, I'd have my own mortgage. The upside is I can invest and help him or put some of my £ into another place I can rent out. See, positive really! 

       Valid negative, I've trapped my finger and thumb in a car door this year, separate occasions. Bloody ouch and sad! I have natural, long nails so they're a bugger to not let the original nail fall off whilst the new one grows- Be less Lucy ha. 

Let me know how your year has been so far, good, bad or in-between!

Life thus Far: an overview

It's that time of year again guys!! My favourite season..although, saying that, we've had such a gorgeous summer in the UK this year, that I haven't wanted Autumn to begin if I'm honest. The year has also massively whizzed by and I find it completely bewildering that it's October- am I alone in that? It's been a whirlwind, right!?

Anyway, I reckoned that I haven't checked in with you all properly, and a lot has gone on, life wise [and plenty, not so much.] This post was actually going to be something quite different, but it's time for a lowdown...

Let's see....well, it's Autumn: the cosy, snuggly season, and I'm laughing to myself because, yes people, I'm still single. Now, don't think I'm like, overly upset about this. Just stating a fact. I've been “single” for a lonnng time now and it’s got me intrigued looking at relationships around me.. Do I miss a significant other, do I crave it, do I worry about finding “it”. Honestly; at times. (which is what dating is for) Then I look deeper at couples and can see the cracks and the neediness. Not everyone, but some. I like that I don’t need someone..I don’t need to depend on that someone. I see lots of people jump from 1 person to the next. Plain silly. It would be lovely to find a fella but I had the real deal once & it flawed me and now, I’ll only turn for the next real deal..
​
mental health *trigger warning* As mentioned above, I wanted to write a different post today- it was going to be related around CBT and how you can intertwine it yourself using self-care. Work-wise, life hasn't been kind to me this year. I feel like I've had inner struggles these last couple of months, whereby my thoughts turned negative and racing. My thought processes were all off.. my mind has definitely been focusing on if's, but's & cant's. I'm pretty much certain I've had a trade off of anxiety issues following my brain surgery in '04 and I've been vocal in my difficulties in the last few years, but I've managed to cope with self perseverance but lately I've felt, I don't know, inadequate. Unconfident in my abilities, comparing oneself and wondering if I'll hit the milestones I crave, or whether I'm just unworthy of life. As previously written, one of my dearest friend's committed suicide 5 years ago..I miss him every day & when a negative thought emerges, the universe makes me think of him & the great things I have achieved and to come. Keep your thoughts positive, because they manifest instantly into form, whatever the feeling; Focus only upon your desires and not upon your fears.

topsy-turvey life issues Over the past few weeks, my family's life have gone off quilter slightly. One of my older brother's was very sadly and fearfully, put into an induced coma. I don't wish to go into details and the reasons why and so forth, as it's unfair. It's been a struggle though for the whole family. He's pulled through but there's a long journey ahead for him and the outcome is uncertain at the mo. I just hope there's light at the end of the tunnel.
     However!! I am to become an auntie soon to twin boys...big gulp. It'll be the best birthday present for me ever, haha. Despite the rollercoaster we're all enduring, this is definitely a blessing, and I'm so pleased for my brother and sis-in-law. It'll be a busy few months ahead. New beginnings!



general life chit-chat I went away in July to South Cornwall which was stunning. I love the area anyway, but in the glorious sunshine it was so lovely. If you're a fan of the show Poldark, get yourself there. Charlestown is a must. Untouched and reeks of Aidan Turner ;-) haha. It was great to blow the cobwebs away and have gratitude for untouched beauty and the beauty in my own life, but reality does have a habit of stinging you back again! Last month, I've had to have my bloods taken several times, as I found out I suffer from B12 deficiency which has meant have a loading dose of 6 injections, so that's been fun (on 3 occasions, I became ill..) As my body cannot absorb the vitamin, I apparently had been living on empty essentially for a while. Stand by to hear of any cognitive, physiological & emotional improvements! Perhaps some of my "foggy head" symptoms will disappear.  

So, lovely ones, that's the extent of the last few months for me. As noted, the weather here was simply beautiful so my getaway to Cornwall was pretty much idyllic. Thus said, I'm going to force myself to embrace Autumn. (I rarely have to say that!) This year, it feels particularly difficult...I'm not where I thought I'd be, and with the big C word approaching, well, I'm not ready for this year to end!! But whilst it's still here, I hope to bask in the sumptuous colours of Fall, rejuvenate oneself in salt water baths, indulge in guilt-free gingerbread & mince pies and spend priceless time with family & friends..
     Who'll join me on this journey...? Take care :-)

The dating underbelly for the emotional snowballer

This may just be one of my most emotionally charged posts to date. It's late again, yes...I know, I know, but to be honest with you, where's this year flying off to!? I mean, it's July, excuse me? Sloowww down, life. Haha.

Ahem, tangents Lucy, tangents. Where was I...okay, so, by definition, I can be a bit of a chameleon by persona. I reckon we all are, to suit different occasions. Anyway, after a recent date I had back in May, I thought 'Oh, I may have a game changer here, we actually seem to suit each other!'.
      So anyway, we get to another date and I figured, I'm gonna wear my heart on my sleeve, show a lot more of the "real me", see where it gets me. Well boy could I be more wrong!! Soon after, he bolted. I determined that I was too much, put too much emotion into it. Or maybe my personality is crap HA. (No big up but it's not.) But here's the thing.. I'm 30 years of age. I entered back into the world of single, dating life at a time when society was getting a bit grim. We've got this era of Instagram, comparisons, too much choice, self-obsession..that people just think that there's always something better around the corner; they may be happy but think they can be happier, you know?    
     When will people learn that often, the grass isn't always greener?!

I've come to terms with being single, but when I date, it's actually then that I realise I dislike being 'alone'- for the record, I'm not alone, I have my family and friends but you catch my drift.. Dating is hard these days. You've got no idea what anyone truly wants and that surely must be because no-one is putting any emotion into it and that's so bloody annoying. As a person who know's what they want in a significant person, I don't mind making my feelings clear through action; I have no time to waste, people! When it's reciprocated, you figure you're both on the same page, but when they then disappear, you reallly start questioning not only yourself, but life too. {I am referring to the above fella yes, the pr*ck.}

I'm sure that to many I probably don't appear that emotional & it's true, often I can hide those feelings or thoughts we bottle up from onlookers, but whilst I can appear clear-headed, in the last few years I have also done some soul-searching.. A lot has gone on that has made me self-analyse. Do you find that once you get to your late twenties, you're much more reflective? As much as I like to think that I don't take things personally, I can tend to, especially when I care about something [although, maybe sometimes I care about the idea of something more]. That's a passionate nature though, thus, I can criticise my own persona but at the end of the day, we are our own identity, right? No excuses.

Don't apologise for being a person who's not afraid to show others their feelings, whether that be through action or vocally. There's nothing wrong with being a sensitive soul, but it is important to learn how to control the feelings, so they don't overwhelm you...or potentially, others.
       Take the above dating fiasco. I let my guard down, maybe too soon. Who knows. I was honest, I liked him but who's to say the other person truly is. You take the cues from others but then they change their mind. Perhaps that is just their prerogative ? What I'm saying is, be careful with baring all, but don't feel bad for being true to yourself.

The world is an overstimulated place, and I honestly think that one thing that can ground you and place you in the present moment is making solid connections. For a while now, for me, it's been in the hope of finding a partner I guess. It gets me thinking that maybe a lot of people have an overpowering chatter in their mind or a barrage of emotions which makes them overanalyse dating and the technicalities or "correct etiquette" that it brings...

Expressing yourself has many cognitive, emotional and social benefits and can lead to a more connected, fulfilled life with others, however, when in the company of people who may have a hidden agenda (whether they appear to be on the same page as you or not), it would be best to exercise caution - Something I need to follow myself as clearly, people take more advantage than I originally thought! Take your time when getting to know them–don’t give them too much of yourself too fast

Are you a sensitive person; a sharer; a slave to your emotions ? Here are some tips that can help to control or counteract said emotions: -

Give yourself a break: Those who are empaths/emotional people yearn for the closeness of deep, personal relationships & intimacy but as you may know, that can make dating tricky. You're probably intuitive and likely to pick up on subtle clues that most people won’t see. You may delve into something quickly, letting your feelings run wild. We struggle to let things go and crave downtime. We feel deeply.. but you know what, if a person you're considering dating is making you feel anxious about any of this, don't let them. Uniqueness should be accepted!

Self care: Making space for spiritual connection is a huge part of daily routine for the empath. So much energy is used that you need to make room for silence... Whether that be through meditation, exercise, walking in nature etc. Continue being open and honest and talk about any struggles without hesitation or fear. If you're having a bad day, week or month, don't feel ashamed or guilty..tell someone, but also understand that often, giving yourself quiet time to recharge is key.

Breathe, recite and laugh: Life is a constant wax & wane of good and bad days. If, like me, you sometimes feel overwhelmed by the latter, we're not alone. Sensitive people feel the tidal waves of many emotion, thus, slowing down is really important when you feel triggered.
For ex. Focus on consciously exhaling out tension [take 5 mins every hour to close your eyes & take your mind to a happy, calm space].
I'd also suggest tons of self-compassion. I bet you're an excellent chameleon but I also bet you're also self critical? Mantras are great to keep a daily focus of desire in mind: simply reciting "this too shall pass| I am worthy & strong| if I accomplish one thing, that is still progress." is helpful.
I also find that listening to happy music is one of the best cures to stop emotional snowballing. My go-to is usually some Deep house Ibiza mixes. They lift my mood instantly. Another is watching comedic films, or films that make me ponder: It's good to have a list of some so you can watch straight away. I watched It's Kind of a Funny Story the other week when I felt negative; definitely recommend.

Any other singletons go through this emotional pressure cooker? Or does anyone in general feel your emotional nature is beneficial or negative to your mental health ? Share your tips!

All that glitters is not gold?

Dear August, You used to be so hot when I was a youngster. Now, you're a burnt out soul…

It's raining here in England. It's dull and I feel miserable and procrastination has set in. I feel unproductive. Sometimes, you need to surrender to your physical feelings and slow the hell down. 

I can feel this cosmic tug that's trying to drag me under, and that, I won't allow. I've learned now that my body will let me know when I need to "just be" but I also have some quite life-altering things coming up very soon so my Positive, proactive, speedy hat needs to be firmly on. 
          This sounds so negative I know but it's simply honesty. I don't enjoy fakeness. What I'm saying is, say yes and give way to the energy you're feeling. That fire in your little belly yearns for some reflection. Recharge those batteries in a day & see what's on your mind: - 

- Is it a vacation you need ?
- A new career plan ?
- A pet ?
- A tech detox ?
- An afternoon of spontaneous adventure ?
- A date ?
- A new outfit ?

These quick fire thoughts are the things you truly crave and will bring new joy or possibility to your life. A lot of the time, they are the simple things...like indulging in a hot, bubble bath with a glass of wine; sweet, relaxing sounds and scents surrounding you.
     Think of it like story writing, write down little gems of wisdom. This is your bit of glitter, be it however small. Life is about seeing beauty in the little things around us and sometimes, overwhelming, differing thoughts can leave you reviewing your whole life, but take a day to forget about the practicalities of how to figure out those loud thoughts- focus on something small…All that glitters is not gold.

A lot of problems occur these days due to comparison, and because I've had a few days of feeling like I'm stagnant {check out my Insta for more chat on this!} or my life's just trucking along, it got me to thinking how quickly you can lose your logical sense. Perfection really does not exist, everything is trial & error. Society has become obsessed with attaining the impossible ideal at all levels and the trouble is, some people get sucked into the realm but in fact, the glitzy, perfect perceptions people have are often not that precious at all or indicative of ones' true nature! Authenticity looks like it's gone out of the window with carefully orchestrated individual's walking around instead, thus leaving the minority of real people who recognise that 'All that glitters is not gold', feeling their own anxieties even more intensely which is ridiculous because knowing ones' flaws & strengths is the key to higher potential! A great phrase I heard is "So many selflies, so little knowledge of self."
     So please know, the muddy water will disperse when you just sit still for a while and be true to yourself. Recognise all the sentimental feels but know that the logic will return in due course!

Key pointers
Know thyself. Decipher what's held you back from your opportunities.. Mindful introspection on the past & present you can help your gain clarity on your divine life purpose
Stay humble and know that success happens in its own time.. Don't distract yourself with conventional thinking; ground yourself back with the spiritual realm, breathe out the perfectionist ideals and be true to you!
Don't put value on things that is not true beauty; those that put too much emphasis on narcissism or materialism reflects fool's gold-- It's not real!!!

Here's to a productive, feisty month, hopefully full of our own bit of sparkle, happiness and fulfilment! 

Autumnal Life for the Single Girl

IT'S AUTUMMMNN and a New Moon! It comes as no surprise as to how much I love this season. Just take a look at this for example haha: The Joy of Animals This season has everything... The crisp, amber, crackling sounds of falling leaves, the ever-changing moods of our landscapes, the purchasing of beautiful boots, the glowing heat of a roaring fire, the soft murmurs of our animals as they snuggle up to our cuddly jumpers! I love it! What I am lacking however, is a {human companion}. Yep, still single. I mean, I adore my feline loves but I couldn't half do with a manly man to hold on to on these chiller, shorter and darker nights….

Now, don't get me wrong, I enjoy single life. Always have. But it has been harder this time round, as you can see clearly documented!! The trouble with me last year (as I have now figured out) is that due to sooo many of the negative things that crescendoed around me, I didn't really take the time to enjoy getting to know ME again…to see how much I've grown, how much older and wiser I have become & I'm not going to apologise for now understanding this about myself, and I urge you all to do some soul-searching too :-) 

So, here's my little dating update. Ok, so first off, I can't even remember when my last date was. Seriously. That long ago. To be honest, I think the bloke just put me off. He was a teacher (good start, no names mentioned ha) but I soon realised that it was a wham-bam-thankyou-mam that the little mister was after, so no thanks. A shame, the fella was cute. Anyways, after a year and a bit of the same scenario, different guy, I've come to figure that dating in 2016 is alll about the quick gains. 

       I just can't seem to find anyone that I feel ANYTHING for. It's a totally disconnect…as Miss Carrie Bradshaw would say. Perhaps my heart isn't in it, perhaps I enjoy single me too much, maybe my complexities[?] are a shade too much.

I'm not after a full on relationship; it just would be nice though to find 1 person with whom I can share my life a little- someone who has shared interests. Take this for instance, I was sort've getting to know this guy who was slightly older than me. Anyway, I asked one day whether he'd like to go the Red Bull Air Races. I got a grunt and "What's that then?" To be fair, I thought the name was a dead give away paha. He had zilch interest. After that, I couldn't really see us going very far together. I'm beginning to think my dating processing in 2017 shall have to be a tad more selective and insular. Ar man. Tell me I'm not alone in this??

I don't really foresee me dating anyone in the months leading up Christmas. This is the realist me talking now. I don't even mind this, but what about a handy mini guide eh for what us single gals' can do to ease us nicely into the New Year, whilst relishing in the fact that we have no ties or drama {YAY!?!?}

• Use your time wisely. Most of my friends are domesticated (coupled up, in my language), thus I need to make sure I'm being productive with free time when no-one's available for get-togethers! Cliché but gain a new hobby. You never know, you might meet that special someone with similar interests to you…I'll be taking my own advice here; note to self Luce.
• Get outside!! This is so important even if you're in a relationship, but when single, just go out in the fresh, open air and get exercise on your lonesome. For me, I'm connecting more with my spiritual self & to absorb nature and its goodness, as seen below. It supports in de-clogging your mind. Mine is a chatter brain- so guys, just go and take yourselves out. Be active!

• Revitalise & reevaluate. In every sense of the word! Simply enjoy the fact that you can invest a little more time into figuring out your hopes and dreams. Use this opportunity to take fate into your hands..think hard about which principles are important to you in a person. It would be ideal to share similar interests with a partner indeed, but it's not top priority; it is key though that they don't dismiss your likes (as above for me!) Compromise is good- don't go searching for them though. Revel in this autumnal season but keep your heart and eyes wide open for potential soulmates: new or old!!
• Pamper yourself! This is self-explanatory. You may be single & we all have wants and needs but remember to cherish yourself first. It's vital in keeping yourself positive. You may think "oh forget the shaving and looking good, it's nearly halloween/thanksgiving/christmas, I'll eat my weight in cakes". Sure, do that, but I'll guarantee you'll be more miserable in January! Keep yourself fuzz-free and treat yourself to plenty of relaxing bubble baths with candles, wine & a book…festive candles, hello? That art exhibition you wanted to see- take yourself. Wear that little red number with that sultry perfume ;-)

So please guys, is it just me feeling this!? Or maybe some of you are in relationships where your other half doesn't quite understand you? What other single girl behaviours do you do during this season?? I'd love to hear from you…

Respect. Seek only respect!

Well hi Guys! And hi June! Where did that spring from soo quickly then eh ? 6 months into the year and I already feel like I need a "do-over" haha. 

So, where have I been…what have I been doing. A month & no post. I can't excuse it can I!? My apologies. I've been all over the shop. May was a good month. How was yours?
        Sun came out to greet the UK (sparingly!) but it wasn't without its up&downs. Is my life ever - she says. Haha. I'm cool with that! Being made aware I need to have my wisdom teeth out & that I'm pretty much as blind as a bat was a big annoyance (not my greatest tradeoff to have from my b.tumour!) 

Anywayyy, here's to the summer lovely ones, and my topic of said here post. My gorgeous dear friend Fénian used to say I thrive on stress. This is true, some of us are wired up in a highly strung way, but we all have a breaking point don't we. 
        In the midst and angst of my months hairodramas, theatre trips, planegeeking, meltdowns, social work wonderments and {hashtag}singlelife gloom, I thought a few things over… Now, when I have good days, I consider myself to be a somewhat smart, friendly, lively, kind and loyal human being. I know when to be confident; not arrogant, not cocky, but I can use ego when need be. I like to see myself as someone who is determined, has had setbacks and desires to inspire others. 

My mum, for instance, is the strongest woman I know. She's loving & caring but goes about life in a subtle way, not seeking praise. That to me, deserves respect and I definitely would love to be more like her. 

To get back to the point, all the negative things that you may feel, about life or self, they must be turned into a positive. Now, it's hard; I know it more than most. If you have a bad month; week; day, think about how you would like to be perceived. Do you ever feel like people have high (or low) expectations of you? I do. Feeling judgement from others can make you feel a whole lot worse. However, you can use it. Use it as an action to better yourself; for you, not them. Screw judgement!

In my opinion, the society we live in now is a disposable one, full of narcissism, instant attention and false lives. People are far too nosey about other people's lives; that I feel those mental health issues, can dwell. Don't do it!! 
To me, the main person to seek any attention from is yourself. Shower yourself with love. Use the good days to work on making yourself the best person you wish to be. If you act with integrity in life for your own benefit and self-worth, respect is earned, and any attention will be gained through your use of positivity.

Considering the tips above, I have to digress. I don't need a do-over, and nor do you guys. What we go through is for a reason. You could be pushing yourself too much that your brain needs to recoup. Ya see, we're all so hard on ourselves, especially us lot who may have anxiety issues…
        You have to understand, our brains are funny little things. If you're anything like me, you can find it difficult to not give in to the little guy on your shoulder telling you, 'Nope, today is not gonna be your day, it's a fail, face it already, go and wallow, take it out on those you love'. I dislike that person, the Lucy that people could have genuine hate for. The girl that lost her way. The girl that has to hide that little, pesky devil on the shoulder constantly. Tough to do, right ??

As I've written above, feeling worried that your best is just not enough to please other's will get you nowhere. Go through life at your own pace. The trouble is, when you may appear like you have yourself together, people are quick to judge when you fall, but as the quote says, don't think about it. It is really tough but try writing a small to-do list each day. I'm in no way saying you must 'be positive' 24/7 but write a post-it note to yourself every night…in the busy days of work, family, friends, leisure, pets, life (!) try and give yourself a positive or pro-active task or quote. Put effort into making yourself feel better. Life is too chaotic to live in the past or seek perfection in order to please others. Live in the moment, pay attention to your own happiness…

Here's someone who definitely deserves attention !!

So, maybe take heed of this: try & not spend time in bed on a sunny day, don't dwell on the things that you really cannot change. Sing out your positives and sing them to yourself. Be proud of the little (or humungous) achievements and remember, you want to be remembered for your talents, not noticed for daily attention seeking! 

Hope this helps a tad. Ps. Had a font change, I quite like it :-)

The element of choice

I came across this image a few days ago and it got it me thinking about the choices we all make in life and how optimistic I have been about my own choices so far.

So as the wheels turn, I am wondering about the philosophy of mind. I have alright common sense and judgement in practical matters, and so I should, as a hopeful social worker! 

I'm pretty logical with others, offering clear reasoning, but with matters of my own, I have a tendency to be irrational and realistic about what I can achieve. I think we can choose to have those negative thoughts and moods sometimes as that is just the realist in us. 

Over the last few years, everything has been a game of catch up- idealising how I can change things to suit me and imagining perfection... so a bit of daydreamer yes but why not!! We can choose to have dreams, get them and deserve them. We all have them don't we, but perhaps some of us forget them and get bogged down with work or looking after others?

Well, it seems I just can't make up my mind, but I am definitely choosing to listen to my inner voice :) However, I want my little optimist to resurface in full force, glowing with positivity for years to come!