Autumnal Life for the Single Girl

IT'S AUTUMMMNN and a New Moon! It comes as no surprise as to how much I love this season. Just take a look at this for example haha: The Joy of Animals This season has everything... The crisp, amber, crackling sounds of falling leaves, the ever-changing moods of our landscapes, the purchasing of beautiful boots, the glowing heat of a roaring fire, the soft murmurs of our animals as they snuggle up to our cuddly jumpers! I love it! What I am lacking however, is a {human companion}. Yep, still single. I mean, I adore my feline loves but I couldn't half do with a manly man to hold on to on these chiller, shorter and darker nights….

Now, don't get me wrong, I enjoy single life. Always have. But it has been harder this time round, as you can see clearly documented!! The trouble with me last year (as I have now figured out) is that due to sooo many of the negative things that crescendoed around me, I didn't really take the time to enjoy getting to know ME again…to see how much I've grown, how much older and wiser I have become & I'm not going to apologise for now understanding this about myself, and I urge you all to do some soul-searching too :-) 

So, here's my little dating update. Ok, so first off, I can't even remember when my last date was. Seriously. That long ago. To be honest, I think the bloke just put me off. He was a teacher (good start, no names mentioned ha) but I soon realised that it was a wham-bam-thankyou-mam that the little mister was after, so no thanks. A shame, the fella was cute. Anyways, after a year and a bit of the same scenario, different guy, I've come to figure that dating in 2016 is alll about the quick gains. 

       I just can't seem to find anyone that I feel ANYTHING for. It's a totally disconnect…as Miss Carrie Bradshaw would say. Perhaps my heart isn't in it, perhaps I enjoy single me too much, maybe my complexities[?] are a shade too much.

I'm not after a full on relationship; it just would be nice though to find 1 person with whom I can share my life a little- someone who has shared interests. Take this for instance, I was sort've getting to know this guy who was slightly older than me. Anyway, I asked one day whether he'd like to go the Red Bull Air Races. I got a grunt and "What's that then?" To be fair, I thought the name was a dead give away paha. He had zilch interest. After that, I couldn't really see us going very far together. I'm beginning to think my dating processing in 2017 shall have to be a tad more selective and insular. Ar man. Tell me I'm not alone in this??

I don't really foresee me dating anyone in the months leading up Christmas. This is the realist me talking now. I don't even mind this, but what about a handy mini guide eh for what us single gals' can do to ease us nicely into the New Year, whilst relishing in the fact that we have no ties or drama {YAY!?!?}

• Use your time wisely. Most of my friends are domesticated (coupled up, in my language), thus I need to make sure I'm being productive with free time when no-one's available for get-togethers! Cliché but gain a new hobby. You never know, you might meet that special someone with similar interests to you…I'll be taking my own advice here; note to self Luce.
• Get outside!! This is so important even if you're in a relationship, but when single, just go out in the fresh, open air and get exercise on your lonesome. For me, I'm connecting more with my spiritual self & to absorb nature and its goodness, as seen below. It supports in de-clogging your mind. Mine is a chatter brain- so guys, just go and take yourselves out. Be active!

• Revitalise & reevaluate. In every sense of the word! Simply enjoy the fact that you can invest a little more time into figuring out your hopes and dreams. Use this opportunity to take fate into your hands..think hard about which principles are important to you in a person. It would be ideal to share similar interests with a partner indeed, but it's not top priority; it is key though that they don't dismiss your likes (as above for me!) Compromise is good- don't go searching for them though. Revel in this autumnal season but keep your heart and eyes wide open for potential soulmates: new or old!!
• Pamper yourself! This is self-explanatory. You may be single & we all have wants and needs but remember to cherish yourself first. It's vital in keeping yourself positive. You may think "oh forget the shaving and looking good, it's nearly halloween/thanksgiving/christmas, I'll eat my weight in cakes". Sure, do that, but I'll guarantee you'll be more miserable in January! Keep yourself fuzz-free and treat yourself to plenty of relaxing bubble baths with candles, wine & a book…festive candles, hello? That art exhibition you wanted to see- take yourself. Wear that little red number with that sultry perfume ;-)

So please guys, is it just me feeling this!? Or maybe some of you are in relationships where your other half doesn't quite understand you? What other single girl behaviours do you do during this season?? I'd love to hear from you…

A "28 & a half shock to the system" sort of day.

   Hi there Guys!

Blogging. My blog.. Something I've clearly forgotten existed. Wellll, you know me, life gets in the way and my writer's block takes over…To be honest, I will not engulf you with my self pity and actually give the blogosphere/my readers some actual continual material, yes!?

      Back in June, I received an e-mail from one of my fave restaurants; TGI Fridays. They gave me a voucher as it's halfway through the year until my birthday. Anyway, I've now given it some thought..Halfway you see, until I'm 29. Celebrating 29 years of age..Gulp! I nearly chocked on my coffee.

This year is going by so fast, and if you've read my blog, you'll see what a roller coaster of a life I'm living. In recent months, nothing is new there. In fact, I've gone through so many differing emotions and ups and downs- broken record, right? Thus said, this summer has been different for me. I've been a little bit more seclusive I suppose. Elusive & selective to whom I choose to spent time with.
      These past two years have been weird and so very unexpected! But when you sit back and breathe in the world, you see that life is very odd. Weather is crazy, people are strange and media (social&beyond) is downright soul-destroying. It makes you understand more how the select group of us who do not follow the crowd or "be a certain way to please others" or flaunt yourself in a Dorian-Gray-style (as I now refer to it!), are susceptible to suffer from, emotional issues, for instance.

I am a type A human. Yep, I over-analyse, over-think, I write lists [tons of lists], I think about long-term plans, I'm impatient; so sometimes, living in the present and concentrating on something you really enjoy- such as writing, can be difficult to master, ya know? I'm someone who can see the value of work and sacrifice, and the need to look a few steps ahead, but we cannot always control it can we? It's something that anxiety sufferers can probably relate to. I dislike feeling like my life isn't sailing along tickety boo, ever since my illness. So, over these past few months, I've been determined to remain in the present more and more.

A new motto perhaps lovely ones….

Simple but effective. Life is a tricky little lady but here's what I'm taking from this.. Be a shepherd in life. Assert yourself powerfully in order to achieve your goals. There's nothing wrong with exuding your self-worth, but do it in a humble way to help others, not to please or to feel validated [we need no song and dance] Do it all on the quiet and it'll be the positivity that shines!

So, what I've been looking at doing, since I had my mini heart attack at the realisation of my 20s coming to an ever nearer close, is defining some achievable goals that I can use a benchmark. They are the destination yes, but focusing on the journey is far more important. Worrying about future goals are one of the main issues for those with mental health issues, I feel. So try & rewire your brain to see goals as interesting challenges that are in reach: realistic. I'm all over that realism!

1) Pursing more knowledge & development within social work career. I like knowing what path I'm on and having all my chickens in the basket, but right now, living in the moment and seeking adventure is much less pressure for me..so having fun goals is very important. However, knowing that where I'd like to be career-wise is essential but I won't be conforming to deadlines; my past self is gone and I still aim to improve!

2) Upping the fitness regime. Working out makes you look good and feel good ^^ I want to eventually have an overhaul on my working out, improving my overall health and well being with physical fitness,  which in turn, maintains my pretty unnoticeable left-sided weakness & coordination probs. All of this makes you walk around with an abundance of kindness.

3) Owning my own home. I don't want to set myself up to fail, so I'm giving no timeframe. The ebb & flow of life will get me to where I wish to be. Destiny, people, destiny. The main thing to bear in mind is that whether or not you achieve your dreams, “It’s not what you do, it’s how you do it”. Focus on your growth.

4) Adopt another pet. I'm a huge animal lover and if anything, they de-stress me. My overall personality is of warmth but due that pesky type A and my own internal pressures, I can lash out and obviously, I'd prefer not to!

5) FUN goals. As mentioned above, adventure is important, so there a fair few here that I'd love to accomplish..One step at a time remember. They are as follows, take some horse riding & flying lessons, join dance and fitness classes, and learn to play an instrument. These are all basically life long wishes for me but they also involve ££ which takes me to numero uno! All goals flow nicely! 

Bring on the 30s I say haha.

These are termed as SMART goals: specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time-based. Meaning, they can be broken down so you don't tackle too much, too soon. 

What accomplishments do you wish you have??

Take care guys. Love & Light :-)

PS: Any quotes/images that I provide are from Google images or good ole' Facebook. Any other photos are brought to you by myself. Thought I'd just let that be known so to not aid confusion! 

Respect. Seek only respect!

Well hi Guys! And hi June! Where did that spring from soo quickly then eh ? 6 months into the year and I already feel like I need a "do-over" haha. 

So, where have I been…what have I been doing. A month & no post. I can't excuse it can I!? My apologies. I've been all over the shop. May was a good month. How was yours?
        Sun came out to greet the UK (sparingly!) but it wasn't without its up&downs. Is my life ever - she says. Haha. I'm cool with that! Being made aware I need to have my wisdom teeth out & that I'm pretty much as blind as a bat was a big annoyance (not my greatest tradeoff to have from my b.tumour!) 

Anywayyy, here's to the summer lovely ones, and my topic of said here post. My gorgeous dear friend Fénian used to say I thrive on stress. This is true, some of us are wired up in a highly strung way, but we all have a breaking point don't we. 
        In the midst and angst of my months hairodramas, theatre trips, planegeeking, meltdowns, social work wonderments and {hashtag}singlelife gloom, I thought a few things over… Now, when I have good days, I consider myself to be a somewhat smart, friendly, lively, kind and loyal human being. I know when to be confident; not arrogant, not cocky, but I can use ego when need be. I like to see myself as someone who is determined, has had setbacks and desires to inspire others. 

My mum, for instance, is the strongest woman I know. She's loving & caring but goes about life in a subtle way, not seeking praise. That to me, deserves respect and I definitely would love to be more like her. 

To get back to the point, all the negative things that you may feel, about life or self, they must be turned into a positive. Now, it's hard; I know it more than most. If you have a bad month; week; day, think about how you would like to be perceived. Do you ever feel like people have high (or low) expectations of you? I do. Feeling judgement from others can make you feel a whole lot worse. However, you can use it. Use it as an action to better yourself; for you, not them. Screw judgement!

In my opinion, the society we live in now is a disposable one, full of narcissism, instant attention and false lives. People are far too nosey about other people's lives; that I feel those mental health issues, can dwell. Don't do it!! 
To me, the main person to seek any attention from is yourself. Shower yourself with love. Use the good days to work on making yourself the best person you wish to be. If you act with integrity in life for your own benefit and self-worth, respect is earned, and any attention will be gained through your use of positivity.

Considering the tips above, I have to digress. I don't need a do-over, and nor do you guys. What we go through is for a reason. You could be pushing yourself too much that your brain needs to recoup. Ya see, we're all so hard on ourselves, especially us lot who may have anxiety issues…
        You have to understand, our brains are funny little things. If you're anything like me, you can find it difficult to not give in to the little guy on your shoulder telling you, 'Nope, today is not gonna be your day, it's a fail, face it already, go and wallow, take it out on those you love'. I dislike that person, the Lucy that people could have genuine hate for. The girl that lost her way. The girl that has to hide that little, pesky devil on the shoulder constantly. Tough to do, right ??

As I've written above, feeling worried that your best is just not enough to please other's will get you nowhere. Go through life at your own pace. The trouble is, when you may appear like you have yourself together, people are quick to judge when you fall, but as the quote says, don't think about it. It is really tough but try writing a small to-do list each day. I'm in no way saying you must 'be positive' 24/7 but write a post-it note to yourself every night…in the busy days of work, family, friends, leisure, pets, life (!) try and give yourself a positive or pro-active task or quote. Put effort into making yourself feel better. Life is too chaotic to live in the past or seek perfection in order to please others. Live in the moment, pay attention to your own happiness…

Here's someone who definitely deserves attention !!

So, maybe take heed of this: try & not spend time in bed on a sunny day, don't dwell on the things that you really cannot change. Sing out your positives and sing them to yourself. Be proud of the little (or humungous) achievements and remember, you want to be remembered for your talents, not noticed for daily attention seeking! 

Hope this helps a tad. Ps. Had a font change, I quite like it :-)

Wear your crown with pride!

Hii Guys! 

It's been a while I know. No-one's more apologetic than me… but I have good reason. Over the past couple of busy months, I've really took some time to look after myself; soul searching if you will. 

That said, it is not without its ups & downs. Such is life, for me. Today is no exception. I have been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster all day. I'm blaming hormones (Yep. I'm passing the blame ha!) I'm also having a bit of a "hair-mare" so that's driving me round the bend- more on that another day!

The trouble with me, as my nearest & dearest know, the slightest thing can trigger me. I can get exceedingly angry if I'm passionate about something, you know? I'm working on that though. It's not pretty at all…. I wrote a post on my Instagram about a week ago discussing just this; so it's apt I share! 
        In the UK, we are now around a month in to Spring, which also brought the International Day of Happiness 😍🌾🌼 falling on the same day. It got me to thinking about the links of our differing seasons and how we can try and utilise them to help mental health issues but also understand how and why season changes can affect us in problematic ways. What do you think??

I certainly think that we all feel so much better when springtime arrives. Nature blooms and the time of growth, renewal and new life surfaces. I definitely aim to use the season to continue developing myself in positive ways. It's a great time for energy & exuberance and beneficial for those who suffer mental health issues; but as I noted above, we aren't superheroes and we don't always feel great but please do not feel inferior if you still suffer from low mood. It's very understandable. Take things one step at a time & seek support from whom ever you feel comfortable around. 

So, my main focus for today is about providing some tips really- let me know if they help and please do share this on! If you'd like to, you can also follow me on bloglovin'…Just click on the icon to your right :-) 

You may or may not be aware of the Facebook page: Action for Happiness. Check it out. It's quite useful for promoting a positive mindset to everyone & I came across this below image that struck a chord with me. Here's my top 5 thoughts: -

1) Inspire and motivate others: Lots of us face problems that can be very well hidden. It's a mask that can be used. So be aware that you never know what a person is facing every day. Put a smile on someone's face for no reason- make them smile or laugh, be kind or pay them a compliment. You'll find that the more you do this, you will feel better yourself.

2) Take time to be just you: In my previous post, I talked about my vow of becoming more spiritual; I stuck with this as much as possible & it's working. Even if it's an hour a day, take time to enjoy living in the moment. Try out some mindfulness, read a book, get out in nature..anything where you have time to reflect & rejuvenate. Give it a go! 

3) Drop the negativity: This is something that can be easier said than done and I need to follow my own advice. If anything or anyone is dragging you down then drop it. Let it go. Life's too short. Instead, surround yourself with what and who you love- any anger will slowly fade away.

4) Acceptance: We can all worry but it can be super intense when you may suffer from depression or anxiety. If you feel as if you've suffered setbacks or failed then please try to stop beating yourself up. We make mistakes but we learn from them. Accept that you can learn from any problem & actually use them to formulate a new direction. When you realise this & practice (1)(2)(3), your fears will be flooded by love.

5) Break the boundaries: You're here on Earth for a purpose; should you not feel that way, look harder & deeper. Sometimes we feel life's a struggle and you want to give up but stop right there; find a meaning. YOU are worthy! Try to stretch yourself and learn something new, fun and creative. This can be a challenge, I know; start small but think big. Every day you'll push yourself more & remember.. every great success requires some type of worthy struggle to get there. Know this!  

For now, I'll leave you with this cute, positive little quote; We may not always feel 100% o.k. with our day or progress, but try and wear your crown on top of your head at all times and you'll feel like a Queen/King/Boss…Leader!!

Destination Unknown!

Tuesday evening. The nights are still not showing much sign of getting lighter just yet.. so time for a serving of a catch up whilst cooking up a steak dinner! 

I don't know about anybody else but January is never one of my favourite months; it's miserable weather, long winded & you're usually quite penniless :-/ My month was definitely no different so I've been glad to see Feb! All the mundanities and responsibilities seem to hit you hard, but I always think it's best to get all of it out the way. Do you agree? 
       I tend to have vets bills to think about also around this time of year so I've been saving a stash for my two little sweethearts haha [cannot forget their needs!] 

Bobby & Tilda <3

[ More on them when I devise a next post as this is just an update; I don't wish to go off on a tangent! I have so many ideas whirling around my head, that I need to put pen to paper again. Just need to find me a fancy new journal to jot my ideas down on to- buying something else new surely helps writers' block, right!? Hehe. ]

Hm. With the above all said though, I've kept a smile on and feeling more determined than ever to continue fulfilling my dreams; even though some were trampled on, as you may well know! 
       I have a lot of birthdays to think about in Jan & Feb, but thankfully I love an excuse for a fair few beverages with the birthday boys and girls haha. Love gift shopping too- generosity is such a positive action.
I've fitted in two theatre events so far this year {Giselle; ballet & Jersey Boys; for my dad's 65th birthday} - If anyone has seen either, I'd love to hear your thoughts on both, since I'm a keen theatre goer :-)

Top & Jeans: Topshop Petite
Biker boots: Clarks 

With it being Ash Wednesday the other day, I figured I may give up a sinful behaviour for lent, such as the stress I give myself unnecessarily- hard when I can't control this much but I'm giving it a go. Now, for anyone that may have read this post: A question of faith, you'll see I class myself as agnostic & I remain so, but since my break-up a while back, I've tried very hard to become more spiritual as a person. More in tune with my being. Due to the happenings of the past year, I am now considering being confirmed; which I feel pretty content about is I feel it will aid my spiritual journey in some way…

At the beginning of the year I made a vow to myself to gain more knowledge about spirituality. So far so good. I have so much more to learn though! This jewellery is remaining quite a permanent fixture: A crescent moon enveloped by a citrine healing crystal:
it is said that citrine associated with good luck and abundance. It is a boost to your wellbeing & promotes positive energy, light and clarity thus, dispels feelings of unworthiness & bring relief to those with anxiety, destructive tendencies etc.
The lady at the wiccan retailer picked it out especially for me- she clearly sensed some vibes going on. I'm still unsure on the validity of such practices but you know what, for anyone whom is struggling in any way [or has an interest, of course], give it a go :-D

The above is a powerful photo courtesy of a series of art; 'My anxious heart' by Katie Joy Crawford. Link as follows: http://www.katiejoycrawford.com/myanxiousheart
I have only just come across it but it's a great representation of how debilitating anxiety disorders can be. Worth a look!!
       All mental health issues as a collective need to be discussed more and not dismissed, thus leaving sufferers battling an invisible illness. If I think back upon my own recent issues, for me, the best way to describe my mind is akin to "a million thoughts whizzing inside my head, colliding into each other & vying for my attention". Quite tiresome, but much more stable & much more me. 

I definitely hope that my blog has begun to carry some hope for people who may have similar issues to myself and I certainly wish to showcase it off a tad more, so by all means, share any posts if you would like! The BBC (UK) are broadcasting a documentary season currently, called #inthemind. It is in the aim to explore mental health so to challenge the stigma and heighten the conversation. The key thing to remember is that so many people forget that the mind can get sick, just as the physical body does. This needs to change. The brain is our foundation of our body/soul.

I understand that on paper, you may think there’s no hope but there’s no absolutely hopeless situation. I’m not idealistic; sometimes it might not work but sometimes showing faith in yourself and persevering does make a difference. When you have 100% faith in yourself, everything can be achievable, but you also need to realise that mistakes can happen, but that’s just letting you know you’re human. Just remember to confide in someone.

On a final note, one massive annoyance for me at the moment is how utterly single I feel ha…it was my second Valentine's Day alone. I mean, I've never been someone who's 'into' the holiday per se- but I'm sure fellow singletons will see where I'm coming from!! It has made me miss what I previously had & wonder what on earth I did to suffer such hurt; but then I remember I am be better off how I am as I am with people who love me :-)
       Thus said, I'm beginning to think I'm either extremely picky of my choice of a male (!) or I'm just destined to be on the shelf, as it were. Neither fill me with joy. I'm definitely out of luck though. Honestly, if I get one more person saying they're after a, ahem, ménage à trios shall we say, I may possibly end up serving a sentence…Ok. Perhaps I wouldn't go that far but seriously, being SO out of options is not my thing. I didn't sign up for this hahaha. I need to have a hard think about what & who I want. Big decisions ahead people, big decisions.

Until next time.. 

The New Year Special.

Happy New Year to one and All!

It may be 'back to reality time' and yes, it hits us with a thud; but I do hope that everybody has had a smashing Christmas and NYE. I'm not big on NYE I have to say..never have been, but I had always tend to have a great time with family or friends. This year has been no different :-)

Now, if you follow my blog at all, you'll know that a) I've been really trying [she says trepidatiously] to maximise my blog postings more but I hope to become more frequent! and b) 2015 hasn't been one of my greatest of years due to lets call it, a breakdown, basically. No shame in it.

How I've carried on with any normality and fun in my life is beyond me…but I suppose that is where your support network and inner strength comes in & I have that in abundance. 

        BIG shout out to the mother dearest, as she really is a constant support. We have had massive arguments and disagreements, but she's always there. Can't thank her enough.

From working within mental health...and suffering myself with issues {HA}, I know how crucial it is to have lots of support around you, but also understanding that not everyone has this due to the heinous lack of mental health services, lack of a social/family network and the poor knowledge that bystanders can have of MH. This in itself is such a vicious cycle.

If you struggle with MH issues, you will totally get where I'm coming from and I really hope some of my posts have helped people understand. My brother said an insightful thing the other day- He knows that I've now been diagnosed with GAD- anxiety in lamest terms. He likened my dilemma to the fact that "She can't help her emotions taking over; it's just that in this moment she can't work out how to help herself reach her goals again" - I'm sure many people can relate to that. 

It is difficult for people to understand, I appreciate that but I do wish some could try to. Don't you? 

The way I see it is I know what I want from life & I know how to get it, but over the past year, it became misty. Like a barrier of fog, in which I hit and then can't get through, you know? It seems to be lifting though, thank god.   

I realised a lot of things over Christmas. I've begun to feel much more positive over the last few months; more like myself. The woman I remember from 2014 :-D

None of us can help hitting brick walls and falling prey to the pressure, but where does that get you? Miserable. That's it. Life changes, people change and lets face it, humans aren't fantastic with change. Especially when you've put up with so much of it!!!

So, Instagram has offered this #2015bestnine. Here's mine: 

I'm not a New Year's resolution kinda girl but usually I tend to resolve to be more physically fit & eat more healthily. Blah blah! External pressures in society can make living life extremely difficult, but it's our outlook which changes that. Looking at the geographic of my most "liked" photos on Insta, fitness is certainly something I need to improve upon; more MH inspiration along with relationship chat. 

Remember, it's only you who can have the self-confidence and determination to change things for the better. You can only achieve things if you rely on the experience you've gained from the past to make sure you experience nothing but success today. Easily done! Here's to 2016 lovely ones!