Life thus far: An overview

Soo I kind've feel like this will be a bit of a rant, so I figured I haven't got a theme, hence my LTS! I woke up Sunday with a low energy vibration to be honest which has continued, then I realised it's a new moon in taurus on the 11th. My little spiritual heart felt slightly more settled I guess! Taurus is about healing through a grounding process, so we're thinking earthy nature ofc. It allows us to re-fuel & fill your cup with self love. Definitely not a time to beat yourself up that’s for sure! I need to take heed of that fixed Earth, grounded energy to steer me in a good direction; especially during this Mental Health Week

      My younger brother turned 30 on Saturday; he's a Taurus. He's more pragmatic than me certainly and I can learn a lot from that nature. We had a little family get-together at his house which was needed. I baked Nutella cupcakes which I'll deffo be making again. My brother likes his board games and trivia, but Cards Against Humanity, I'm all for that one. These simple pleasures of normality shouldn't be taken for granted!

My weeks have been so busy at work and even though it's still working from home, I've had the odd visit and meeting in direct contact. That's felt normal-ish...I feel overwhelmed though. Work + academic work + a never empty house + an ailing grandmother- Makes me feel like I have limited time. I need to manage time better currently & curb that imposter feeling :/ 

I've spoken about karma before on here and even though I know that nothing is black and white, nor easy, I still wonder how those that really do seek true happiness, are not given it quickly or simply. Life doesn't reward goodness but honestly, I try, my family try, so hard but something always crops up to steer us off track! Are things sent to test us, if so, why continuously ha. I have fought a lot in my life, jumped through hoops and obstacles & although I'm young (33) I feel tired, tired of doing all the right things but not having what I truly want. I've settled for less recently- I don't want to do that anymore. I know deep down that I am worthy of what I wish to manifest, so why settle, 

I know that I do need to use the taurean energy to let go and let God. We can’t control everything can we…Have faith, keep going and let the chips fall where they may..

I'm sure many people look at life (now that we have some freedoms back) and feel that life is hunky dory, no issues. But there's an underbelly. When you go down that rabbit hole, I'm telling you, if you already feel a niggle, you'll get it trust me! (Not that I believe every theory) When the country makes out it is so progressive & liberal, that is when I want to scream. We’re not. It’s going backwards in my opinion and people are blinkered to see it. Can you honestly say that you feel you are empowered to have a different point of view to someone else; whether a person is right or wrong need not matter, we are supposed to live in a society where different perspectives are encouraged, are we not? 

It's even ridiculous things like, an ex once suggested I was 'the sensible one; straightlaced...' Considering he knew full well what my temperament is, it angered me so much. Still does. Cause when you know something is unjust, you want to set records straight. I'm realistic, logical, reasonable. 

Sensible and straightlaced? Sure, I don't act like a ten year old the majority of the time- I guess I need to let some things lie eh!! 

I guess it's those realisations that make me think, wow that person couldn't be arsed to really get to know me at all! I like social justice, liberty and the human right to an opinion. When they listened to my thoughts on the Pandemic sitch, they were surprised, so it makes you wonder what people class as radical after all doesn't it ?

      This ever happen to you?

This has been a rant eh. Ooh I'm sorry. I love a rant and moan at the best of times, but this past year, oh boy its been something else!! I mean, I wholly hope that restrictions are lifted in June, as suggested, but I have my niggling suspicions that life will not look quite the same as 2019 for example. Is this making any sense? Hm, I hope so. Anyway, if anyone at all is feeling even a smidgen bit sceptical or has some thoughts that don't quite fit in with "the norm," look up the WTAF Podcast with Richard Willett & Gareth Icke, and Pandemic Podcast with Dan Astin-Gregory- both on Youtube. You'll feel less alone as they speak sense, and look up your local Stand in the Park...although, lets hope that by June, this will all be a distant dream !

My 2020 New Year musings

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!

Happy 2020. I hope that you've enjoyed the festivities and that the new year gives you everything you desire. I cannot believe another decade has zoomed by. I feel good about the '20s I think. She says. I felt bloated & sluggish on NYD so I exercised and went for a winter walk. Then it was back to work, reality. I have shed loads of things to attain and achieve and this did give me some panic- but with some great pep talks from my family and friends over the Christmas period, I am determined to get what I desire.

I wanted to get rid of a horrid situation (so many things about it angered me, that I thought I'd share it with you!) But nahh, I'm not going to air too much dirty laundry; this is not Dear Diary haha. It's unfair so I'll remove most of the narrative but the gist is >>
      So, if you look back on my previous post, I had been dating someone for a while: Decent, interesting person I thought; a few red flags I chose to ignore because I felt an emotional connection that seemed compelling. Meh. Well, it doesn't take a genius to work out that someone is cheating- But apparently guys, he wasn't, because we'd ended [I, however wasn't aware of the fact.] Not to worry though, as no hurt was intended (!) Yada yada. Whilst they were going through some struggles, whilst I was constantly trying to check up on how he was...I got told "I need space" They saw fit to give someone else the opportunity to support & care for them. Wow, huh.
      You know when you look back and know exactly where you went wrong yourself, apologised & would have happily talked it over, but cannot fathom why the other person could never understand your point of view? That is disappointing stuff right there! head over to my Insta to see a more insightful post. With this said, my door is always kindly open to unfinished business. 

The aggravating thing is that I think when you put two opposite people together, there are many differences to work through of course, but in my opinion, the intimacy is off the scale.. And maybe, I value that a whole lot more than other people.
Destruction follows, chaos follows. We all make mistakes; no-one's perfect, but I know that whatever move I make, I take accountability of it. Own up. I do at least like people to understand my logic! You have to accept that the energies are for your highest good. Toxic energy leaves for a reason- and I'm not talking about just relationships.

Thing is, when these things happen, I instantly think, oh it's my fault. What's wrong with me, I'm the denominator. What has someone else got that I haven't. My thoughts become obsessive and negative. NO LUCY NO
This was not good. Horrendous whilst I was keeping up appearances at work etc. Then my birthday came in Nov and I thought, screw it, if someone who I cared about could go behind my back like that, I deserve a respectful man; not someone who made me doubt myself. Someone who appreciates you, wants to understand you and your idiocracies. We need solid don't we, no silly games. 2020 is a time you gain that, even if that means being your own soulmate.

The power is our own. Our choices are our own. I put lots of things in motion last year yet it still didn't feel right. I need to trust my own choices and instincts more, but also take risks this year. I know that I can easily hold back on things that I particularly want but it equally scares me. So I sabotage it - or do I? I certainly don't deserve to be discarded. I have an appreciation of people with mental health issues. I work in MH. I always wish to support, but I won't tolerate anyone adding to my own stresses unless they take responsibility for their own actions. You reap what you sow. Hi Karma!

Your external world is a reflection of your internal world. Soo I'm taking inspiration from a previous post of mine: Boss babe Spiritually, 2020 will be a big, powerful year of change and reward. I'm hoping for physical manifestation. If you see the number 4 flying around, take that as a very positive sign from the Universe :-) 4 is power, foundation, elemental. I want to take heed of my above post and embrace self care & wellness. Consider healthy new habits and routines to get into better shape: reading more often, go for long walks, take up that hobby that should have happened in 2019...

So what will be on your Self Care List? Maybe try writing a small goal could be set for relationships, career, interests, physical/mental health, personal growth. Whatcha reckon, fancy joining me on a quest to let go of habits that hold you back, cope with stressful situations with more ease, plan fun things to do in advance, find a beautiful love, heal from grief ?? 

 

Life Thus Far: an overview

Woah, so my blogging activity has been TERRIBLE this year. I haven't felt much like journaling at all but due to the fact my last post was at the beginning of 2019, I need to compose one for the end of the year [near enough] ...So here goes, a bit of a good ole, wordy ramble.
       Ps. Guys, if you have read my blog and got a glimpse of my personality, my lack of posting is by no means intentional. I've not had the emotional energy or capacity this year 


So, as many know, this time of year is my favourite. The leaves turn to rich colours of gold and fall gracefully to the ground; the nights get darker [albeit, not so much to my liking], but Halloween/Samhain arrived, along with Bonfire night so I'm happy. I think it's a magical time and special in remembering those who have passed on. A time of reflection & reconnection

I have been seeing plenty of angel numbers in the last couple of weeks, so I am taking that as little nudges from above :) I find manifestation or law of attraction difficult but I'm hoping that by staying open & receptive, I shall receive what I most desire.. My mind is a collection of analysis, worry and multitasking currently, so fingers crossed, faith and persistence will see me through to the end of the year!

During Jan/Feb, my immune system decided to do a u-turn again so to be honest, I just felt a bit bleak for 2 months. Colds, sinusitis, norovirus...all that good stuff ;) ha, erm no.
       In April, my Grandmother fell very ill. She has had atrial fibrillation for years which is an irregular heart rate. She was in hospital for a few days but deteriorated at home; for a week all the family rallied round. We slept there, I took days off work...then back to hospital. Pacemaker fitted. She's definitely not got the energy she did have but at almost 87, she's still going- and that's the main thing! I focused very much on work in the following months; still am. I began some verrryy intense training in peer work. So this being, supporting and guiding people with mental health issues in their own recovery/journey. To be able to be said peer worker you have to have lived experience of mental health issues/brain injuries- it felt like a natural, next phase of life. It's very new in the UK and it's not really going as I expected but I will persist. I really want my story to help someone!

I feel like I've experienced a lot of changes this year, although, everything still feels very much 'up in the air'; maybe that's something that's been universally felt ? I have to remind myself often that I'm not that bad a person, even though shitty things do happen. Perhaps it is true that "you get what you're strong enough to handle." To that I always think, I'm strong enough, but maybe I'm not. Yet. At almost 32 and 15 years of turbulence, you'd think I was to be fair...We need to remember that we have to look back at what we have achieved, than what we have not. It's usually the case that if you look back at where you were a year ago, things have moved on a lot since. However, it can also be true that if you are asked on the spot to name 3 positive things about yours versus. negative, the latter can be easier to summarise. What a shame that is.
       Sadly, I fear that's how I've been feeling lately. The last 3 months of a year are really important & I'm not in the mindset I wanted to be. You reap what you sow, right? I'm a caring enough person with a warm heart; I like to help others, but I'm not really helping myself much. Esp. when some people just don't want your support however much you reach out! My personal life sucks and that never fails to get me down but then I let that lose my focus and that is SO wrong. Things like that can't rule your life but when you feel like an off-balance jigsaw, one's temper and headspace can soon snap!!

My dating life was fairly chequered until June, and now, well, lets go with plateaued; varying reasons. A pity really, I like(d?) this one a lot. Shan’t give up yet. I'm incredibly sick of dating- The majority of men bore me. Apologies fellas. Please read>> the dating underbelly
       Christmas, such a wonderful time to be alone too... (Yep, please do sense the sarcasm.) Less said the better about it all; in these circumstances I'd usually blame mercury retrograde, and in fact, yes I will blame it. Why not. It is a deep and murky one right now. Who knows, the universe might throw the good stuff back again. My luck can't be this bad! retrograde release


Anyway, it's my birthday soon and I have a week off leading up to it so I've got plans on the go for that :) & christmas presents to purchase. Single or not, I want to make it lovely. Even though there are things I'm still unhappy with, I've tried my best this year! We should pat ourselves on the back for those moments where you feel so blue but you put on whatever 'hat' you must, wear a smile and gradually, that smile becomes truth. I've had some crappy moments in Oct that took my anxieties/depression back to a few years ago..I've worked really hard on my mental health with the help of (mainly the mother) my support & I can't go back there. I've been purposefully making a habit of using prayer at night. I'm not religious, more agnostic and spiritual, obvs. When I whip out the crystals and incense and talk, particularly to my friend Fénian, I know he’d want me to push on. He believed so much in me and I can't let him down, even when my emotions overburden me.

Hope my honesty does touch or help someone. Feel welcome to e-mail me! It's amazing how quickly times flies by. I definitely do feel like I need to put more thought into cherishing & embracing moments because time really is precious.

Retrograde release & Spring is springing!

Soooo, how are we in March already ?! I recall blinking and now it is Easter next week...God knows when that happened.
       Now, it may not look or feel like it, but Spring is here, and if you look hard enough, Mother Nature is trying hard to show us some signs.

Our planetary alignments also work hard at doing just that. (spoiler: this will be a bit spiritual-y, but y'all know how my posts are..) Mercury has gone retrograde in Aries and the Spring Equinox has arrived. Have you been feeling ultra emotional? Hyper-sensitive? That'll be the pre-shadow period for you. So, for a week before Mercury stations you may feel like technology is failing you, delays happen, past feelings/people catch up with you; basically, we're consciously aware of hurts, needs, triggers. Some of us may feel that more. I do as I'm quite a watery sign, but my fire soon bites back.

How can we move forward into April with passion and action, but with purpose and in our best interests? For me, I'm a pretty logical person but in retrograde, I think my perfectionist side gets muddled and confused. I want to get the show on the road but also want to be sure on whether I am right in my decisions, so some Aries, impulsive energy may be good for me to give me some extra fire! Perhaps you too. Remember though, introspection is key here, being impulsive isn't always wise, especially now.

A lot of readers may think getting in touch with your spiritual side is nonsense, but for me, it's helps me become a tad more mindful & eases stress- so it may for you ? You know, we have so much armour on these days that we forget to nurture. Take this time to become more present. Consciously release any physical or mental stress that might be present in your body or mind. Be kind to you, shed the ego and social conditionings. Reinvigorating ourselves can help us to wire ourselves up differently ready for April.

Sometimes, we can chase dreams, achieve goals, compare our lives, that we forget to evaluate things.
This 3 week check-in can help us reanalyse our lives and understand if what we do in our lives is definitely what we want or if any changes can happen. We can refigure out what makes us happy, all around. The whole package of our dream identity might actually be missing a certain je ne sais quoi.. see if you find it again!
       So. Let your sails be set and the winds will blow. If we all have bravery to take charge, we can proceed as our true, selfless selves. What retrograde can do for you, if you wish to apply it, is direct you to a more advanced you- think outside of the box. The seed is ready to grow now, the cocoon of winter needs to be shed. {*note to self}

I guess what I'm trying to say here is, slow down, do some inner work and look at things in a new light. Take a day or two each week to wind down or concentrate on getting jobs you've put off doing (but don't make that taxing, I'm talking spring cleaning, blog work etc!)

My last few weeks have been a bit odd, for want of a better word. With winter vibes clinging on and a feeling of a universal somewhat melancholy, I wanted to grab this chance to perhaps reach out to someone who really needs a pep talk. Misfortune is always greater to someone else and even at our vulnerable states we can find strength

Take care and let me know your thoughts below! If you'd like to hear more of what I love, feel welcome to follow my Insta >>>

Recharging those batteries

Do you know that feeling where things seem to be going well, and then for some reason things take a bit of a dive downhill ?! This is me for a couple of weeks now on and off - and I've been putting off this post for like, a month. Terrible right? As if my lack of postage wasn't poor enough HA. If I was doing this as a full time job, I'd give it everything but I've not felt like that..not ideal.

Now, I don't like to be a fraud, and I hope that if you are a reader, you can sense my honesty so anyway, I've been reading back through my posts from this time last year & I'm sensing a pattern emerging; I could call it a rut but I shan't. It's more like that lady Universe is just testing testing.
       Nothing is awful, but my father has been poorly again, and me personally, I'm just not taking my own advice, and I do feel kind've shit about that. We should practice what we preach! It's my birthday at the end of Nov- the BIG 3.0! and I planned to write a post just before that so I need to get my act together.
​
I don't know about you guys, but I always find that November has become 'pre Christmas' month. Like it may as well not exist. Well I dislike that; it's the depths of Autumn and should be embraced! Talking about Christmas, our society is so go-go-go all the time.. Always on countdown to something. Does it make you want to restart or recharge? It sure does me!! Autumn brings us an understanding of our own personal changes within the seasons that are life and that's pretty magical.

This weekend, I plan to recharge my batteries, hopefully within a day! I have a pre-birthday theatre event on Sunday, but I definitely feel the need to reflect and rejuvenate. Spiritualists say that everything we need is within us. That's probably true but you definitely need inner peace to find it. To address stagnation and manifest, you have to nurture a passion and bring it to life; especially if you're feeling somewhat unsatisfied- Self exploration helps! I find that this time of year can make many feel drenched in stress, despair or 'winter blues' but a refresh can significantly improve your mood.

Putting yourself in The Hermit position can aid introspection. In the Tarot spread, Hermit can signify loneliness, hibernation, truth seeker, guidance. Using it as a positive resource means solitude, gaining wisdom, enlightenment, fearlessness. For ex: we recharge our phones but rarely ourselves..
       So lets take some contemplative action: -

1. Unplug from tech. A day off from e-mails, media and endless scrolling means you can actually read that book that's been sitting on the shelf for months. This'll helps us feel more mindful and aware of our surroundings. Being present leads to a sense of control and empowerment.

2. Walking. Possibly the simplest and most cost-free solution to relaxation. Taking in fresh air and our surrounding completely enhances serotonin levels. Embrace quietness in the woods. Mind and body work in tandem so perhaps take on a home workout; yoga or cardio, whatever you fancy!

3. Heavy energies can induce some challenges and mood shifts; guided meditation involving water can ease and purify heaviness. Take a long soak in the bath with aromatherapy oils, soothing music, a hair/skin mask- your bathroom is your spa.

4. Give yourself a DIY mani/pedi (for the boys too!). I do this a lot. Buy yourself a new colour. Winter= berry season and treat yourself like a queen. Use some coconut oil and bathe your tired hands & feet! Pampering works wonders, and you look pretty too.

5. Feeling burnt out will essentially mean you cannot help others as you're neglecting yourself. Go within yourself and nourish your inner thoughts. Journalling for an hour can energise you into thinking about future ideas, memories or plans. A sense of order can be liberating & afterwards you can watch a movie whilst snuggled up in bed!

6. Bake or cook. I love baking. Whether it be mouthwatering cakes or pies. There's something so satisfying about cooking a new recipe, and it's very mindful. So many positives- and it'll make your house smell divine.

Now we have spent some time healing ourselves, the mysticism of the season should be enough now to replenish and balance our souls. Until next time.. <3

Life Thus Far: an overview

Oh my oh my, sweet friends. I am SO delayed!! If there was an award for procrastination that would definitely go to me; the master {not that I condone procrastinating!}… I have also realised that I haven't posted a LTF series in an exceedingly long time so, without further ado…

The weather here in Britain has been particularly unpredictable which is kind've wreaking havoc with my moods (and head; my shunt reacts to weather!), so I've not felt I've had the chance to really sit and write up about what's been going on lately, so I'm sitting here with my incense on whilst my cat pesters me for attention; it's as best a time as any eh!! 
       Do you ever sense a surge of overwhelment coming your way, like me?? I tell you, I was all guns blazing in January; I really wanted to kick start 2017 with a bang and "let that sh*t go" but by February, things starting going haywire again. Not in a bad way but things starting going wrong. I don't know if it's the fact that I've become a tad more in tune with spirituality or if it's just life being a bitch, ha….Anyway, today I'm focused on the affirmation found in Katie Piper's book Start Your Day With Katie: 365 Affirmations for a Year of Positive Thinking which I've used religiously: - 

'Seek harmony in your soul and kindness in the people close to you; happiness found in material things will not bring you lasting joy.'

I think that is such a comforting statement! When I think of this, what I consider is that I've definitely spent the last few months clearing out what doesn't serve me. I mean, as you may have read, my persona can flip a lot and as much as I can feel overwhelming, there's also so much oomph within me. My father, as I noted in my last post, had been poorly on&off since November; he's been feeling better for a couple of months so that's lifted some heavy clouds that were lingering!!

With a tendency to over-think and rethink, I decided to take advantage of the Spring Equinox & re-align and balance those scales, so to speak…it can be easy for some of us to jump from decision to decision and feel like you're 'all over the place', but that's where Spring can help to ease us into a sense of harmony, renewal & reassess some priorities. 
        So I took the opportunity to look for some volunteer work, on the side. I started some training in Feb/March at a homeless emergency nightshelter so yep, loving my shifts there. I've done plenty of volunteering in my time but working with the homeless is something I've wanted to pursue for a long time! I still feel like my journey is ongoing; my dreams are still there to attain but I'm always off on a tangent! However, you have to trust that the universe will offer you great changes in divine timing :)

The purpose you aspire to is always there so I continue going forward, and if it helps anyone, my advice is to get out in nature if you need help in cleansing and expanding your soul. Nature is breathtaking with its untouched beauty and there really is something so purifying about being around it (even if you bring it indoors- note my precious cactus above). A New Moon is coming up this Wednesday that's heading into the sign of Taurus so that calls for bullish energy that'll keep us grounded and fuel newfound wisdom, so take hold of reliable and earthly feels!

Stowe, National Trust, Buckingham

I adore this capture I snapped; it's as if the heavens are breaking through with our angels. Enchanted. So, lovely folks, I'll leave you with that. I intend to carry on keeping my dreams in sight, continue learning & doing new things and steer clear of negative emotional entanglements - has the year started off how you intended? Or perhaps your desires or intentions have changed? Let me know, I'd love to hear and trade stories…

…and ps. our moon cycles can offer us so much subconscious information, so listen to your intuition always, and if you're a deep thinker who follows the watery fluidity of your many thoughts, just think, you're probably a mermaid ;-) Take care guys!

A "28 & a half shock to the system" sort of day.

   Hi there Guys!

Blogging. My blog.. Something I've clearly forgotten existed. Wellll, you know me, life gets in the way and my writer's block takes over…To be honest, I will not engulf you with my self pity and actually give the blogosphere/my readers some actual continual material, yes!?

      Back in June, I received an e-mail from one of my fave restaurants; TGI Fridays. They gave me a voucher as it's halfway through the year until my birthday. Anyway, I've now given it some thought..Halfway you see, until I'm 29. Celebrating 29 years of age..Gulp! I nearly chocked on my coffee.

This year is going by so fast, and if you've read my blog, you'll see what a roller coaster of a life I'm living. In recent months, nothing is new there. In fact, I've gone through so many differing emotions and ups and downs- broken record, right? Thus said, this summer has been different for me. I've been a little bit more seclusive I suppose. Elusive & selective to whom I choose to spent time with.
      These past two years have been weird and so very unexpected! But when you sit back and breathe in the world, you see that life is very odd. Weather is crazy, people are strange and media (social&beyond) is downright soul-destroying. It makes you understand more how the select group of us who do not follow the crowd or "be a certain way to please others" or flaunt yourself in a Dorian-Gray-style (as I now refer to it!), are susceptible to suffer from, emotional issues, for instance.

I am a type A human. Yep, I over-analyse, over-think, I write lists [tons of lists], I think about long-term plans, I'm impatient; so sometimes, living in the present and concentrating on something you really enjoy- such as writing, can be difficult to master, ya know? I'm someone who can see the value of work and sacrifice, and the need to look a few steps ahead, but we cannot always control it can we? It's something that anxiety sufferers can probably relate to. I dislike feeling like my life isn't sailing along tickety boo, ever since my illness. So, over these past few months, I've been determined to remain in the present more and more.

A new motto perhaps lovely ones….

Simple but effective. Life is a tricky little lady but here's what I'm taking from this.. Be a shepherd in life. Assert yourself powerfully in order to achieve your goals. There's nothing wrong with exuding your self-worth, but do it in a humble way to help others, not to please or to feel validated [we need no song and dance] Do it all on the quiet and it'll be the positivity that shines!

So, what I've been looking at doing, since I had my mini heart attack at the realisation of my 20s coming to an ever nearer close, is defining some achievable goals that I can use a benchmark. They are the destination yes, but focusing on the journey is far more important. Worrying about future goals are one of the main issues for those with mental health issues, I feel. So try & rewire your brain to see goals as interesting challenges that are in reach: realistic. I'm all over that realism!

1) Pursing more knowledge & development within social work career. I like knowing what path I'm on and having all my chickens in the basket, but right now, living in the moment and seeking adventure is much less pressure for me..so having fun goals is very important. However, knowing that where I'd like to be career-wise is essential but I won't be conforming to deadlines; my past self is gone and I still aim to improve!

2) Upping the fitness regime. Working out makes you look good and feel good ^^ I want to eventually have an overhaul on my working out, improving my overall health and well being with physical fitness,  which in turn, maintains my pretty unnoticeable left-sided weakness & coordination probs. All of this makes you walk around with an abundance of kindness.

3) Owning my own home. I don't want to set myself up to fail, so I'm giving no timeframe. The ebb & flow of life will get me to where I wish to be. Destiny, people, destiny. The main thing to bear in mind is that whether or not you achieve your dreams, “It’s not what you do, it’s how you do it”. Focus on your growth.

4) Adopt another pet. I'm a huge animal lover and if anything, they de-stress me. My overall personality is of warmth but due that pesky type A and my own internal pressures, I can lash out and obviously, I'd prefer not to!

5) FUN goals. As mentioned above, adventure is important, so there a fair few here that I'd love to accomplish..One step at a time remember. They are as follows, take some horse riding & flying lessons, join dance and fitness classes, and learn to play an instrument. These are all basically life long wishes for me but they also involve ££ which takes me to numero uno! All goals flow nicely! 

Bring on the 30s I say haha.

These are termed as SMART goals: specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time-based. Meaning, they can be broken down so you don't tackle too much, too soon. 

What accomplishments do you wish you have??

Take care guys. Love & Light :-)

PS: Any quotes/images that I provide are from Google images or good ole' Facebook. Any other photos are brought to you by myself. Thought I'd just let that be known so to not aid confusion! 

Destination Unknown!

Tuesday evening. The nights are still not showing much sign of getting lighter just yet.. so time for a serving of a catch up whilst cooking up a steak dinner! 

I don't know about anybody else but January is never one of my favourite months; it's miserable weather, long winded & you're usually quite penniless :-/ My month was definitely no different so I've been glad to see Feb! All the mundanities and responsibilities seem to hit you hard, but I always think it's best to get all of it out the way. Do you agree? 
       I tend to have vets bills to think about also around this time of year so I've been saving a stash for my two little sweethearts haha [cannot forget their needs!] 

Bobby & Tilda <3

[ More on them when I devise a next post as this is just an update; I don't wish to go off on a tangent! I have so many ideas whirling around my head, that I need to put pen to paper again. Just need to find me a fancy new journal to jot my ideas down on to- buying something else new surely helps writers' block, right!? Hehe. ]

Hm. With the above all said though, I've kept a smile on and feeling more determined than ever to continue fulfilling my dreams; even though some were trampled on, as you may well know! 
       I have a lot of birthdays to think about in Jan & Feb, but thankfully I love an excuse for a fair few beverages with the birthday boys and girls haha. Love gift shopping too- generosity is such a positive action.
I've fitted in two theatre events so far this year {Giselle; ballet & Jersey Boys; for my dad's 65th birthday} - If anyone has seen either, I'd love to hear your thoughts on both, since I'm a keen theatre goer :-)

Top & Jeans: Topshop Petite
Biker boots: Clarks 

With it being Ash Wednesday the other day, I figured I may give up a sinful behaviour for lent, such as the stress I give myself unnecessarily- hard when I can't control this much but I'm giving it a go. Now, for anyone that may have read this post: A question of faith, you'll see I class myself as agnostic & I remain so, but since my break-up a while back, I've tried very hard to become more spiritual as a person. More in tune with my being. Due to the happenings of the past year, I am now considering being confirmed; which I feel pretty content about is I feel it will aid my spiritual journey in some way…

At the beginning of the year I made a vow to myself to gain more knowledge about spirituality. So far so good. I have so much more to learn though! This jewellery is remaining quite a permanent fixture: A crescent moon enveloped by a citrine healing crystal:
it is said that citrine associated with good luck and abundance. It is a boost to your wellbeing & promotes positive energy, light and clarity thus, dispels feelings of unworthiness & bring relief to those with anxiety, destructive tendencies etc.
The lady at the wiccan retailer picked it out especially for me- she clearly sensed some vibes going on. I'm still unsure on the validity of such practices but you know what, for anyone whom is struggling in any way [or has an interest, of course], give it a go :-D

The above is a powerful photo courtesy of a series of art; 'My anxious heart' by Katie Joy Crawford. Link as follows: http://www.katiejoycrawford.com/myanxiousheart
I have only just come across it but it's a great representation of how debilitating anxiety disorders can be. Worth a look!!
       All mental health issues as a collective need to be discussed more and not dismissed, thus leaving sufferers battling an invisible illness. If I think back upon my own recent issues, for me, the best way to describe my mind is akin to "a million thoughts whizzing inside my head, colliding into each other & vying for my attention". Quite tiresome, but much more stable & much more me. 

I definitely hope that my blog has begun to carry some hope for people who may have similar issues to myself and I certainly wish to showcase it off a tad more, so by all means, share any posts if you would like! The BBC (UK) are broadcasting a documentary season currently, called #inthemind. It is in the aim to explore mental health so to challenge the stigma and heighten the conversation. The key thing to remember is that so many people forget that the mind can get sick, just as the physical body does. This needs to change. The brain is our foundation of our body/soul.

I understand that on paper, you may think there’s no hope but there’s no absolutely hopeless situation. I’m not idealistic; sometimes it might not work but sometimes showing faith in yourself and persevering does make a difference. When you have 100% faith in yourself, everything can be achievable, but you also need to realise that mistakes can happen, but that’s just letting you know you’re human. Just remember to confide in someone.

On a final note, one massive annoyance for me at the moment is how utterly single I feel ha…it was my second Valentine's Day alone. I mean, I've never been someone who's 'into' the holiday per se- but I'm sure fellow singletons will see where I'm coming from!! It has made me miss what I previously had & wonder what on earth I did to suffer such hurt; but then I remember I am be better off how I am as I am with people who love me :-)
       Thus said, I'm beginning to think I'm either extremely picky of my choice of a male (!) or I'm just destined to be on the shelf, as it were. Neither fill me with joy. I'm definitely out of luck though. Honestly, if I get one more person saying they're after a, ahem, ménage à trios shall we say, I may possibly end up serving a sentence…Ok. Perhaps I wouldn't go that far but seriously, being SO out of options is not my thing. I didn't sign up for this hahaha. I need to have a hard think about what & who I want. Big decisions ahead people, big decisions.

Until next time..